Beautiful Gardens & Stinkin' Weeds!

There are no words, even from a talker like me, that can express our gratitude for prayers today! God continues to listen & answer in powerful ways & through those answers, He just shouts His love over us! Literally shouts His care & provision! It's an amazing thing to witness!

It was about 3 1/2 hours today at Oncology to get done everything that had to be done. Labs were first. Drawing blood to determine where we are in white blood counts (allowing me strength to take treatment) & cancer marker (determining the response me body is having, so far, to this chemo.)

Meeting with Oncologist reveals white blood count had risen into the normal range (great news & answer to prayer!) Have to wait for cancer marker result until tomorrow as it's a 24 hour lab turn-around. I look to Isaiah when the Word says, waiting on the Lord will renew our strength. We've leaned hard on this scripture since the beginning & we lean now. Waiting is a huge part of this journey! Oncology will call us tomorrow with my number, so thanks to all prayers this number is moving downward!

The photo shows I've still got my hair! It's shedding like crazy, but I've not had Mike shave it for me, yet. This is an emotional decision, not an intellectual one. Hair, in the scheme of things, doesn't seem like a huge deal, & it really wasn't the first time around. The first drugs in the chemo I received were a sure bet the hair was going about day 12. There's a lot of data & study in those drugs, & losing hair- with that particular chemo- was like clockwork. Not so with this drug. It is a possible side effect, but the studies continues in this clinical trial, so women like me are watched ever so closely to track needed data. The loss of my hair this time around- in my mind- is much more permanent with the regiment before me, so I'm not as emtionally ready to let it go. Each day Mike stands in 100% support of what I want to do. He's incredibly kind & patient with me as hair is shedding & he adds no pressure at all to me to go ahead & shave it. It's my call & he stands beside me, as always! I know how this sounds, & I would be the first to agree with those who think my hesitance is a bit silly. Today, however, shed new light for me in this struggle. I learned it's possible between different chemo treatments, my hair could grow a bit. No promises, but possibilities. I also learned this MAY only be a thinning & could slow down, not a complete loss. SO, hair or no hair? That's the question!

Oncologist said today to view ourselves as gardeners. We're tending a beautiful garden & weeds (cancer) pop up. We throw chemo on the weeds to cut them back & slow their growth for a time. Once we've cut them back for a time, we sit on our hands (stop the chemo injections) & watch for new weeds to show themselves. As they appear (CT scans & labs reveal them), we throw more chemo on them to slow them, again. Medical science, for this particular cancer, has NO IDEA where the weeds will pop up in the garden, how fast they'll grow or how many there will be. It is a waiting game (remember, WAITING???). The only thing the medical community is certain of, is that they cannot rid the garden of the weeds. They're coming back over & over again. I pray this example helps you- like it did us- to understand our scenario. (This does NOT speak to all cancers & situations! Everyone is different & every cancer is different!) Literally EVERY family is touched by cancer of some sort & it is critical to me I clarify that just because this is my journey, it doesn't mean it applies to the next person with cancer. It is a mean 'ole disease with a myriad of manifestations! I simply share my journey & perspective here.

Chemo was next on the agenda today & so far, I have tolerated it well. This is a merciful answer & I'm grateful. Toleration to this drug will help keep me on it, so, thank you, Lord!

A terribly long post, I realize! Due to labored breathing, again, I must see the Pulmonary Specialist tomorrow & possibly have my lung drained, again. Pray thanks that doctors actually specialize in these matters & are equipped to help patients like me. I'm profoundly grateful God has granted such knowledge! Pray for courage for me, as this is done while I'm awake, & a bit unnerving to me. I'm so thankful all I have to do is sit there & this doctor does all the rest for me!

As I look back at this day, I understand I am a beautiful garden God spoke into being! I live in a fallen world (a world that is apart from Him) & weeds grow here. When I think of Him gardening my life, I am at peace. If He spoke me into being, He cares what's happening in my life. A few weeds don't surprise Him. New weeds & fast growth don't scare Him. EVERY weed is subject to Him!

This Gardener I will not trade for any other!

Blessings!