Follow Me? It's a Choice.

Today we attended the funeral of one of Mike's sweet cousins, Pennye. This was just after burying her daddy, Mike's Uncle George, in February. Friday will be the funeral of a friend, Troy, who's family just buried his baby grandson, Cash, too. These are family and friends we love, and it's sorrow on top of sorrow that so much suffering would happen in such a short time to them. It's a lot to think about, to try to get my mind around.
There's a lot of things I don't know or understand. For instance, I cannot scientifically prove the existence of God, nor can I scientifically disprove that existence. I don't know or understand everything about God, either. But, God doesn't ask me to scientifically follow Him. He doesn't ask me to learn it all, and then follow Him through knowledge. He only asks I follow Him in faith. "Faith" tells me I won't have all the answers in this life, nor will I be entitled to them. Following Him in faith is simply a choice He asks me to make, that's all. Will I follow Him when I realize I will never know it all? Will I trust He knows what He's doing when He won't always fill me in on the details? Will I believe in Him when there's suffering all around that I don't understand?
There are a lot of people I love who are suffering, but I still follow Him with the measure of faith I have, however small. I believe with all my heart He loves even when He seems silent. I trust in Him completely even without all the answers given to me. I don't need them. Not with this God. He doesn't have to explain Himself to me. He doesn't need me to prove anything for Him as He's constantly proven Himself over and over. I trust Him with my cancer, the thousands of people I love & my own life. I believe He cares even when He doesn't give me answers at the moment.
Loving and being loved by so many people multiplies the joy in my life but it also multiplies the sorrow, at times. Walking beside people through their suffering isn't an easy thing. It might be easier to protect myself and just not love so many people, then I wouldn't have to suffer with them when they're hurting. Never! I would not love one less person to save myself suffering, because I'm an eye-witness to His blessings and sustaining love and grace through it all. I've seen what He does in our lives, eventhough, He doesn't always explain Himself to me or lay out a plan for my approval. Through this sad season, I don't have to have all the answers. Faith is what this walk is about. God, please grow my faith in these times!