Because I'm His

In knowing & loving such people of God- I am indeed the most blessed lady on the planet! People- you- have shown my family & me nothing but love, mercy, respect & utter dependence on our God! Thank you! Thank you with all I got!

This is a weird road to walk- for sure! A hard, ugly cancer road but one full of peace & confidence! How can that be? It can only be because of our very loving Lord- our Creator who HATES disease! Our Savior who loves deeply & our faithful Lord who keeps every promise! Knowing & feeling cancer over-taking my physical body is just weird. It's the strangest thing to not be "yourself" anymore. Your "normal" day is a new normal- not the one you've been used to for so many years. It's very hard to explain, but it is what it is, & learning to live with it is far better than denying it or pretending it isn't happening. Walking in the reality of cancer is also walking in the reality of heaven. It's walking in the reality of life after death; the reality of living this life in an eternally saved position instead of under a grey cloud of doubt about eternal matters! Walking with cancer is not something I want anyone else to ever have to deal with, & yet, walking with cancer is walking a very, very close walk with a very loving Jesus! For that, I'm forever grateful!

My cancer marker has taken another jump & will do nothing but rise from now on. The bloodwork will cease now, as will the CT scans, now that Chemo treatment has stopped. The doctor will take all my calls & treat me symptomatically. What this means is that I won't be going to tests & doctor visits but my Oncologist will continue to prescribe plenty of comfort meds as I let her know what is hurting & how badly. Just today, she increased the dose of pain meds for me as the pain increases & previous doses just don't completely take the "hurt" away. Since I have two separate pain "issues" with cancer & continued healing from lung surgery, I'm incredibly thankful for these pain meds as I'm no hero! I'm thankful I live in this century, in this country & have these resources available to me! This may not be for others, but for me, bring on the pain meds! These meds have already helped me to do some things I really wanted to do (soccer games to name one) & couldn't have otherwise.

I mentioned earlier that God keeps every promise, so I'm going to name 4 of them I cling to now. (I learned these from Mike many years ago & knowing them & believing them helps me in these more difficult days!) These promises are mine because I'm His. He is my God!

1) Amnesia Promise (Jeremiah 31:34) Because I'm His, He'll remember my sins no more.
2) Stain Removal Promise (Isaiah 1:18) Because I'm His, my sins that were scarlett will be white as snow.
3) East-West Promise (Psalm 103:12) Because I'm His, He removes my sins from me as far as east is from west.
4) Deep Sea Promise (Micah 7:19) Because I'm His, He throws all my sins into the depth of the sea.

I live in the Lord- not because I'm perfect, but because He is. I don't jump in & out of this life with Him. I'm all in! I don't pick & choose what I obey Him in- obedience is the whole package! He knows I'm not perfect in the way I live, but the commitment to serve & follow Him is sure! He promises His children forgiveness & eternal life! I'm His daughter, so I get to claim His word! What a God I serve! Even on a cancer road! Even on a road uncertain to me.

Because I'm His, I sleep tonight. Because I'm His, I live eternally with Him. Because I'm His, even a cancer road can't keep me down for long!

Blessings!