Today all my hair is gone. Yep, fell out just like doctors said it would. I was hoping God would override this side-effect and let me keep it, but He's said, "No," and is allowing me to face the natural consequence of the medicines I'm taking. I still believe He can override this disease with a whisper, but He's choosing I (we) walk the road, for now. I still choose to trust Him, for I believe with all my heart He knows what He's doing.
I have to tell you that having a husband who knows exactly what he's doing with the electric clippers and razor, is a HUGE blessing at a time like this! Mike and I had already decided that when my hair started falling out on it's own, we wouldn't wait around, but would be pro-active with the clippers! This morning, as I was getting ready for work, the time came... so, mid-morning Mike came home from the office and buzzzzzz! Reminded me of the military ads in the '60's & '70's showing the long-haired guys getting their heads shaved as they prepared for Viet Nam! So, my head is now as smooth and soft as a baby's bottom! So weird!
I don't mean to make light of this situation, for I've shed some tears today... not just about the loss of my hair, but the stark reminder that I'm sick. I've felt so well these last few days and this is a tangible reminder of the state I'm in. I appreciate all the ladies in my life who've walked this journey before me and have given me encouragement in this aspect of cancer. You ladies are giving me courage and I owe you a lot of gratitude!
Have you ever noticed all the blessings mixed in with times of sorrow? I really see a bunch of them already... like some great people with cancer & medical staff that I'm meeting. My sweet, sweet husband! My two incredible daughters! And, mostly, the blessing of identity. I'm not my hair, or my abilities, or my talents. That's not what makes me, me. I'm a daughter of God; an heir to eternal life with the Lord. I'm the beneficiary of the life the Lord means for me to have here, receiving His gifts of peace, joy & contentment. So, losing my hair today doesn't mean a loss of identity. It's a bump in the road, for sure, but a head without hair sends me right to the true identity source. Right to the feet of Jesus!
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Hello My Sweet "Almost Cousin" ~
ReplyDeleteI've just recently been advised of your situation and caught up through your blog. Your testimony and faith are so inspiring but I honestly would never have expected anything less from the precious woman of God I know you to be. It's been five years since we headed over to Heritage and I guess about that long since I've seen you but I wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you and you are in my prayers. Stay strong!
Love,
Jeana
Loss of hair means the chemo is working, but, oh, how hard it must be to lose it. Tears are as appropriate as the praise. Thank you for being real and sharing both. You are a beautiful example to the rest of us - a demonstration of how to deal with the hard stuff. Thank you for doing that. Now, we pray for God to heal however He pleases to do it. We will not stop asking for healing.
ReplyDeleteLove's Prayers,
Dottie
Praying for you! Thanks for keeping us updated, and for being such an inspiration to us all! I love you!
ReplyDeleteYou are a beautiful woman of God and we love you!
ReplyDeleteSharon, I only know of you, I don't think we have ever met but yesterday my cousin, Lee North, made me aware of you diagnosis,then my dear friend, Ann Hill, told me about your blog. I simply want to lift you up with what little God has taught me. Five years ago now my precious one and only son made a critical mistake in judgement. I will not bore you with the details but his life and our lives changed forever. I recall wanting to escape into myself where I would literally tune out the world with the cd just released by our praise team at church. My favorite song was Just Give Me Jesus sung by Mark Cawyer. I will get that cd and send it to you. All I wanted was an open line to my Lord and Saviour for the one simple purpose of sustaining me. I remember my son looking at me in the court room at his sentencing and saying, "Mom, do you realize how many people are praying for us right now?" I did and it was empowering just as God meant for it to be. My sweet husband reminded us that God does not send bad things. God brings good out of bad things-so true. Chuck Swindoll says that God can see the good that will come even when we cannot. And you are so right, our job it to trust Him. I also won't forget my cousin, Todd Knight, writing me and saying, "I pray Jesus will be radically glorified throughout all of this." When I saw the words he'd written it all became clear to me. All suffering is for the glorification of our Lord and Saviour and the way we live during adversity is the way He would have us live each and every day. And everyday since I have tried very hard to live in today alone not permitting hovering anxiety to take me prisoner. And these final words were those of a dear friend, "But what are my riches compared to God's." I want to be counted among the many who will caress you in prayer but I can already see that you have all your priorities straight and you have chosen to take as many as you can with you on this redeeming journey of faith. This is your testimony and God is the reason you are getting an A+. May Jesus be radically glorified.
ReplyDeleteIn Him, Nancy Knight Billingsley Calvert
Sharon,
ReplyDeleteI been there, done that, but I didn't want the T-shirt. I don't know if it is true for you but it was hard for me to put into words how it felt to lose my hair. But you know the saying, "It will grow back" and I can testify to that. I am following your journey through your blog. I pray for you daily. Isn't having a loving, understanding husband the sweetest blessing. It really makes us realize the vow we made in sickness and in health. It is so amazing to see our husbands living that out. I told Mike how glad I was for you to be using Dr. Krekow. She has been a huge blessing to me, her P A Lisa is also wonderful. The people who give you the chemo treatments are a blessing too, I never came in contact with anything but kindness from them. Please let me know if there is anything I could do for you. It was a blessing to me to talk to people that had been through what I was going through, not to talk technical stuff but just the things I was feeling and knew that someone who had not experience what I had been through might not be able to understand. Also as you get down the road on this journey and you need a plastic surgeon I would love to recommend mine. I was referred to him my Dr. Brian and he is great. I didn't mean to ramble but I'v just had you on my heart and mind and want you to know even though you know it, but people do get through this and come ot the other side a much stronger person ready for the next step in God's plan for our life.
love, Judy Parish
Beautiful is what you are! Your beauty radiates from deep inside of you. A rare thing these days. And I love you for it. You are constantly on my mind.
ReplyDelete