All In!

In every person's life, there seems to be a spiritual corssroads. A time a person must choose between the world & it's offerings or Jesus & His way of life. This battering back & forth in one's life truly becomes miserable over time. Not completely engaged in loving & serving the Lord, & at the same time, not completely going full out with the world. This lifestyle becomes nominal, at best, & is quite frankly, a lonely way to live, for my tatse.
For me, the crossroads, the time of choosing once & for all, was my freshman year in colloge. I was attending ACU & at best, was non-commital to fully engage spiritually. I played it more by being partly spiritual & partly participating in the world's side of life. Sometimes went to church, but didn't go if I got a better offer. Didn't participate in church when I went but just simply sat as far toward the back as I could. (This was just to appease myself that I had gone to church at all.) This sort of "playing church" created guilt & sadness & didn't at all fit my personality of love & service to others. This was not for me. I wanted all or nothing but wasn't ready to make the full comitment either way... until one night in my dorm room. I was there alone & distinctly remember my prayer to God. I described where I was spiritually (He already knew) but I asked Him to either give me more faith to believe in Him more & the courage to really commit my life to him or simply let me go, so that I wouldn't have to live in this "torn" state. I asked God for more faith & the desire to serve Him wholeheartedly. That's what He gave me. Since that time, I've never looked back, never asked myself if I was going to trust Him or not, wonder about my salvation, ask if I'd ever be good enough to be saved (answer is always no to that one!), go to church or not, never had to decide if I was going to sing praises or give money. I've already made the decision to love His people & serve them, so that's not decided week by week- it's a done deal. From that day, I was ALL IN!
ALL IN was the most freeing time in my life. I drove stakes in the ground about my relationship with God & who I was with Him. There was now much more clarity in my life, fewer questions to toss around since the decisions were already made. I'm so very thankful God pulled me into Himself & didn't let go! I know I'm His daughter & am completely confident in my salvation with Him.
This desicion opened other doors of friendships, too. I saw people differently & were drawn to those who's lives were being lived in the Lord. It was a few months later that I met Mike. It was clear from our first conversation that He was a man of God, commited to & loved the Lord. (This can be a bit disheartening as a young wife to think he loves Jesus more than me, but he did.) The truth of the matter is that the great love Mike has for the Lord just spills over on me every day! He loves me at a deeper level because of the Lord than he could love me on his own. I'm the benificiary of their great love for one another! The same is true with me. I'm a deeper loving wife because I love the Lord. I respect Mike at a deeper level because the Lord shows me how. This deep love & respect for each other serves us well these days! The incredible blessing of living fully in the Lord proves to provide blessings in the toughest of times. I'm not saying we're perfect. I'm saying we're blessed. I'm not saying it's always easy. I'm saying we're thankful the Lord provides us the ability to love this deeply!
If you don't find yourself loving your spouse this way, I tell you to run to the cross! Get to the feet of Jesus as quickly as you can, because He is the ONLY one who can teach you to love others the way He does. Watch how He loves you as he hangs on that cross. See Him give His life for you so you can get to God. Observe the way He loves others, including your spouse. Copy His character. Study His words & plant them deeply in your soul. He loves you this much & wants us all to know this kind of love!
I'm still ALL IN even through cancer- wouldn't trade that decision for anything in the world. ALL IN with Jesus gives me a life of no regrets & allows me to really live & really love! I'm ALL IN for Jesus because He's always been ALL IN for me!
Thank you, Lord!