Hospice visits are now increasing to twice a week per my request & their agreement that this needs to happen. The rapid cancer growth was confirmed again last Thursday & there's just so many places in my body this can grow not interfere with normal body actions. My body will not be able to do what it's doing much longer.
This is horribly sad to Mike, Randi, Taylor & me. Any of us & all of us, can only guess at the number of our days. (That number belongs only to God.) Some of you, who aren't even anticipating death, may face it before me. But, guessing & adding to what we know, this cancer continues on the same path & that is a short one. Much shorter than what I want.
I continue to take pain medications & am most thankful for these. As my back hurts from nerve endings & torso hurts from cancer growth, these meds make all the difference. Hospice is prepared & right on any & every need I have. A hospital bed was delivered to our house this week & that was hard for me to see. Wow, such a reminder this life is going quickly. I haven't moved to the bed at night time, yet. (Only nap-times at the moment). But, it's there when we need it for convience & help me sleep more deeply propped up. I'll move to that bed when the time comes but thank God daily for the medical care I've recieved all through this process.
This week, Mike & I are reminded that we're blessed in so many ways! It's embarrassing to even list all the blessings, but one of the ways is the diversity of people we know & love. We have friends all over the age scale & this keeps us blessed like crazy. We have friends older than us, our own age, young families a couple of decades behind us & then friends even in the youth group. It really is a blessing to know & love such a variety of people.
One such friend we were able to be with (I'm wthholding her name because I didn't get permission to use it) this week lost her ring finger in a tragic lake accident over July 4th. She is in her late 30's & did nothing wrong or out of line. She was "obeying all the rules on the lake" & didn't cause this freak & tragic event. It just is what it is. It happened & it stinks! I've prayed for her these 8 weeks & she will live & be okay physically. The blessing, though, about being around her is that she is sad & still leaning hard on the prayers of others. She's depending on a steadfast Father to see her through this tragic loss in her life. What a blessing to me to see a physically beautiful woman go back to the cross to get her bearing in life. Learn again where her hope is found & sustained. Although 20 years behind me in life's age, she reminded me of the sweetness of Jesus & how He loves us, oh, how He loves us at all times in our lives! Through our dark days, He's there!
Thank you, dearest friends & family. Thank you, Hospice, Thank you Sweet Father God!
Blessings!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Pick Me Out of the Crowd!
Even through hundreds of 4 through 6 year olds on the soccer fields, my daughter can pick Cason out of the crowd as she scans crowd & fields following the games. She can follow every move he makes during the game, too. And, even if she loses sight of him for a moment as he plays, she can pick him back up quickly through his walk or the gate of his run, his manner or the sound of his voice.
She & Taylor can hear Cason, Braden or Paisley through a room full of children screaming sounds of joy at a birthday party or a hurtful cry of a mis-step at the nearby jumping place they love to go to for an afternoon
Taylor can hear Paisley's cry above any other baby's at the church nursery & both mom's can tell you what kind of cry it is that any of these three are using at any given moment. Is it a cry of pain? What about anxiety or stress? Then, it could be a "fake" cry or one that's calling for Mom's attention even when things really are ok.
Randi knows Braden without me having to tell her who he is after his Thursday school. Of all those hundreds of children, Only two go home with her. Cason & Braden. She doesn't leave any activity with more or less children than she came for & it's only those two. Taylor is just now leaving Paisley with other caregivers & she's the same way. She came with one baby girl & she's leaving with one & it's Paisley. None other. Randi, it's Cason & Braden. Period.
I've watched this happen since my girls have become mothers & it's a remarkable thing through history, that a parent knows their own child & cares for that one or those that belong to that parent.
Watch an animal show on tv about penguins, elephants, lions & most other mammals & you'll see the same pattern. The parent has the child, knows & cares & can easily pick that child or those children out of a crowd & care for those in particular.
My daughters are no different than all the other young parents I know. The soccer fields, Bible classrooms or any other venue & all the children clear out in a moment's notice once it's time & all those little kiddos go with all the right parents without anyone having to tell a parent that this or that one baby belongs to them!
What I'm saying is nothing new. My girls & their children are no diffeent than any others through history. They're parents & they know their children. Their children know their parents & want back in their arms at any opportunity they have.
I've just been waching this & thinking about it a lot lately as I watch sports, schools, playgrounds & church activities. And, then I've known for all these many years that just like my daughter's & their children, I am God's daughter. He knows me & can pick me out of a crowd. He knows my name, the hairs on head, my cry & what I need when I call out for Him. He knows me & I know Him. He's the One I want to leave the birthday party with. He's the One I want taking me home. He's my daddy & I want no other.
It's so comforting to know that I am known. I like knowing He can pick me out of a crowd & that He's promised to do just that at all times. Pick me out of a crowd. Know what I need when I need it. Teach me, comfort me & love me with all He has.
It's an amazing thing to know & it's time to thank God for being the father He is. To praise Him for knowing & caring for every detail about me. And, to be ready for His call when He picks me out of the crowd!
Blessings!
She & Taylor can hear Cason, Braden or Paisley through a room full of children screaming sounds of joy at a birthday party or a hurtful cry of a mis-step at the nearby jumping place they love to go to for an afternoon
Taylor can hear Paisley's cry above any other baby's at the church nursery & both mom's can tell you what kind of cry it is that any of these three are using at any given moment. Is it a cry of pain? What about anxiety or stress? Then, it could be a "fake" cry or one that's calling for Mom's attention even when things really are ok.
Randi knows Braden without me having to tell her who he is after his Thursday school. Of all those hundreds of children, Only two go home with her. Cason & Braden. She doesn't leave any activity with more or less children than she came for & it's only those two. Taylor is just now leaving Paisley with other caregivers & she's the same way. She came with one baby girl & she's leaving with one & it's Paisley. None other. Randi, it's Cason & Braden. Period.
I've watched this happen since my girls have become mothers & it's a remarkable thing through history, that a parent knows their own child & cares for that one or those that belong to that parent.
Watch an animal show on tv about penguins, elephants, lions & most other mammals & you'll see the same pattern. The parent has the child, knows & cares & can easily pick that child or those children out of a crowd & care for those in particular.
My daughters are no different than all the other young parents I know. The soccer fields, Bible classrooms or any other venue & all the children clear out in a moment's notice once it's time & all those little kiddos go with all the right parents without anyone having to tell a parent that this or that one baby belongs to them!
What I'm saying is nothing new. My girls & their children are no diffeent than any others through history. They're parents & they know their children. Their children know their parents & want back in their arms at any opportunity they have.
I've just been waching this & thinking about it a lot lately as I watch sports, schools, playgrounds & church activities. And, then I've known for all these many years that just like my daughter's & their children, I am God's daughter. He knows me & can pick me out of a crowd. He knows my name, the hairs on head, my cry & what I need when I call out for Him. He knows me & I know Him. He's the One I want to leave the birthday party with. He's the One I want taking me home. He's my daddy & I want no other.
It's so comforting to know that I am known. I like knowing He can pick me out of a crowd & that He's promised to do just that at all times. Pick me out of a crowd. Know what I need when I need it. Teach me, comfort me & love me with all He has.
It's an amazing thing to know & it's time to thank God for being the father He is. To praise Him for knowing & caring for every detail about me. And, to be ready for His call when He picks me out of the crowd!
Blessings!
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Did You Hear That?
Recenty, Mike & I traveled to San Diego & back to Texas (not to worry, I don't have another bad airline story! lol!), then, Blessing Ceremony over the Sharon Washburn Center for Hope & finally, Washburn Women Weekend with cooking class. It was a few days full of travel & fun for me. Seeing & spending time with people I love & some I didn't even know well, but fun & exciting all the same. I noticed something as I watched people living & going & doing.
I noticed parents & children traveling through the busy airports, all the while, keeping tabs on one another so no one would get lost or separated. I noticed ticket agents & airline staff working with passengers to get them on the desired plane & to their destinations. There were passengers, like me, needing assistance with wheelchairs & pre-boarding; there were pilots & airline stewards giving direction over the intercoms during flight in case of emergency, so we'd all know what to do. (One even sang the instrutions to the tune of "Heartbreak Hotel" just to keep our attention!)
In San Diego, there was a lot of the same communication on the beach. The keeping up with one another & parents applying sunscreen to children who were ready to run in the water & explaining their efforts so children would understand the delay of play in guarding them from a potential sunburn.
Back in Texas, we attended the Blessing Ceremony that was one of the sweetest events I can remember. There were speakers wanting to get the word out about the Center & care of abused women & their children. The staff was excited in showing all who attended the ceremony their work of the apartment projects & what they'd done so far in this effort.
Finally, the Cooking School that evening that was so much fun! The Chef wanted our attention as she demonstrated rolling egg rolls & pot stickers. As she spoke, it came to me that every single person I'd seen in the last week wanted the very same thing... to be heard. Isn't that funny? We all were in different circumstances & locations & stages of life & career, but all wanted someone to listen to what we had to say.
Every person I've mentioned above & including all members of our family later in the weekend together, all wanted the same thing! We all came together from busy lives & had needs & wants to share. We all just wanted & needed a listening ear. To be heard & understood by another person.
As I thought about all the people I'd seen as I people watched through airports & ceremonies & family gatherings, I realized God has the exact desire & that's to be heard. He wants desperately to be heard because He knows if we listen to Him, we'll like what we hear. We'll follow His lead in our lives. He tells you & me all through His word that if we knock on the door, He'll open it. He's saying when we come to Him, He'll tell us about Himself. He shouts every morning as He brings the sun up that He loves you & me & He just wants us to hear that from Him. He wants to be heard when He sets a rainbow in the sky. So, as a result of this recent trip & family time, I'm going to hear as people speak. Whether I know them or not, I will hear them out. The desire is to be heard, so I will listen. All my loved ones are worth listening to, & so is my God.
Blessings!
I noticed parents & children traveling through the busy airports, all the while, keeping tabs on one another so no one would get lost or separated. I noticed ticket agents & airline staff working with passengers to get them on the desired plane & to their destinations. There were passengers, like me, needing assistance with wheelchairs & pre-boarding; there were pilots & airline stewards giving direction over the intercoms during flight in case of emergency, so we'd all know what to do. (One even sang the instrutions to the tune of "Heartbreak Hotel" just to keep our attention!)
In San Diego, there was a lot of the same communication on the beach. The keeping up with one another & parents applying sunscreen to children who were ready to run in the water & explaining their efforts so children would understand the delay of play in guarding them from a potential sunburn.
Back in Texas, we attended the Blessing Ceremony that was one of the sweetest events I can remember. There were speakers wanting to get the word out about the Center & care of abused women & their children. The staff was excited in showing all who attended the ceremony their work of the apartment projects & what they'd done so far in this effort.
Finally, the Cooking School that evening that was so much fun! The Chef wanted our attention as she demonstrated rolling egg rolls & pot stickers. As she spoke, it came to me that every single person I'd seen in the last week wanted the very same thing... to be heard. Isn't that funny? We all were in different circumstances & locations & stages of life & career, but all wanted someone to listen to what we had to say.
Every person I've mentioned above & including all members of our family later in the weekend together, all wanted the same thing! We all came together from busy lives & had needs & wants to share. We all just wanted & needed a listening ear. To be heard & understood by another person.
As I thought about all the people I'd seen as I people watched through airports & ceremonies & family gatherings, I realized God has the exact desire & that's to be heard. He wants desperately to be heard because He knows if we listen to Him, we'll like what we hear. We'll follow His lead in our lives. He tells you & me all through His word that if we knock on the door, He'll open it. He's saying when we come to Him, He'll tell us about Himself. He shouts every morning as He brings the sun up that He loves you & me & He just wants us to hear that from Him. He wants to be heard when He sets a rainbow in the sky. So, as a result of this recent trip & family time, I'm going to hear as people speak. Whether I know them or not, I will hear them out. The desire is to be heard, so I will listen. All my loved ones are worth listening to, & so is my God.
Blessings!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Medical Update- 8/20/11
There has been a lot of patience shown by all our friends & family as you wait on me to communicate these updates. Thank you for all your love & support. (I've said this a million times & still mean it!) Thank you most of all for your prayers because we believe with all our hearts, that God hears you & answers with a merciful hand. Please continue to beg Him to speak me healed of this disease. Mike & I pray this boldly every day & God continues to answer in the negative on our request, but we still go boldly to His throne & ask the Creator of the Universe for healing. He can do this at any moment & we give Him praise for life it's self! Whatever He chooses to do with our lives, so be it. We choose to live in submission to Him even when that means a completely different scenario than we would imagine. So, with that said, I want to update you on the continued rapid growth of Metastatic Disease on my body.
OK! Everyone says how good I look when they see me, so I will not argue that point! My face & demeanor is quite pretty! LOL! I'm out & about for basically one run a day. I'll meet a girlfriend for lunch, or run an errand even though I'm very limited by the heat! There are a couple of friends, along with my daughters & husband, who drive me on these errands (I have given up driving completely as I'm too slow due to pain meds & I'm terribly restricted in my movements of my left torso.) After the one outing for the day, then I'm at home resting or "piddling", as I like to call it.
Nearly all women in my circumstance began getting very sleepy as the cancer grows & overtakes their bodies. (The nurses with Hospice are incredibly in-tuned with me to keep me out of pain & give me any sort of comfort they can.) Women just begin to sleep & sleep & basically, after some days or weeks, sleep with pain meds & pass from this life to the next. However, I'm proving to do this differently than the other women nurses are ministering to. (This is of no surprise to any of us since I've asked God from day one to walk this walk the way He chooses & the submission to Him will chart the course for my life here & my life to come.) Even though my face & demeanor are beautiful, the cancer is ravishing my left torso. It's growing at a rapid pace & there's no hiding it unclothed. So, Mike & I are well-aware, that even though I can go & do a bit & look good, the cancer is what it is.
This makes for the "guess" that I might face death without as much "warning" as other ladies. That I'm not sleeping like I should be in corolating with my torso. More than likely (IF God doesn't heal me miraculously), we'll not have much head's up. This news does not make Mike, Randi & Eric, Tyrel & Taylor or me sad at all! This has been our prayer as a family, that I live until I die. That, with God's merciful hand, He will give me days to live (& not sleep) to enjoy with my family & friends & church.
Please join us in that prayer- that I live until I die- & thank Him already for these days. Like I said, the cancer is really taking it's toll on my left side & I cannot continue to physically live this way, even though, we still have no timeframe on my transition from here to Heaven.
I'm still thankful to serve the God I serve. I'm still thankful beyond words for my family. I'm still living an incredibly blessed life because God loves me all the time.
Blessings!
Friday, August 12, 2011
Happy Birthday to Taylor, 2011!
Spending time with Taylor for her 29th birthday was no option for me this year! Spending THE day with her was low key and wonderful & then getting to spend several days was icing on the cake for Mike & me!
Top that off with being in 78 degree San Diego weather & it was fabulous!
There are fewer things in life sweeter than a daughter and to have Taylor is just the greatest. (Both our girls spent their birthdays this year under a bit of distress, to say the least.) Randi turning 32 and Taylor turning 29. They're incredible women of God & it has been an honor to be their mom all these many years.
So, even though there was no big fan fare, we had a perfect day together, starting by eating breakfast as the pier & making friends with the resident pelican & ending by soaking up all that beautiful San Diego sunshine! All in all we had a wonderful day that I wouldn't change for anything.
Thank you, Taylor for being such a wonderful, sweet-heart of a daughter! I pray you have many, many birthdays to come & each one have laughter & sunshine in it! I'm not sure I could love you anymore than I do right now! God gave Dad & me time with you & that is a direct answer to prayers we've prayed, so I'm forever grateful to Him for that.
I know it's been a few days since our time together but was waiting on our busy weekend together to come to completeltion & didn't want to miss a minute of it. So, Happy Birthday, again, my dear daughter! I love you with all I got!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Sharon Washburn Center for Hope- Part II
It's no wonder my feet still haven't hit the ground since last Friday morning! The Blessing Ceremony over the renovation & construction of the Center for Hope by History Maker Homes, was just one of the sweetest & most wonderful events my family & I have gotten to be a part of!
Here are a couple of pictures of the den & kitchen in one of the apartments in the emergency wing of the complex. The Willbank's Small Group are furnishing each of these units as the renovation is completed in each apartment. Look at the beautiful wood floors! It's just so exciting & shows God's love over & over because this would never happen if all the people involved didn't love the Lord.
I have quite a few more pics to share with you, but Blogspot isn't allowing any additional photos, right now. It's just an amazing thing that people are willing to help others by giving their time, money & effort. I pray the recipients of this program have their lives turned upside down by the goodness of others, all coming from the love of Jesus. My heart fills with joy at the thought of all of this & the good that will be done.
We think about & know of the help the residents will recieve, but I was thinking about the heart-changing that has happened & will be going on with the people who've decided to live their lives in a generous way. People walking by faith in their service to Jesus & give of themselves in so many ways. I'm changed from the inside out when I help someone else. My life is effected & my heart is more tender when I'm reminded that in my own back-yard there is abuse & neglect & I can help break that cycle by pitching in & giving to programs like this. Jesus asks me to give- no matter the amount- & He'll use the gift for His glory. That's what we're doing with The Center for Hope. We're giving to Jesus & He gets the glory because people- all of us- belong to Him. I no longer have to be shy about helping & giving & serving. I no longer have to be afraid of giving away too much. All I need do, is give & serve Jesus Christ. He's the one who takes care of all us anyway, those of us who believe in Him & serve Him by serving people & follow His ways. Jesus is amazing! I pray you & I never let others get in the way of knowing Him. That you & I love Him just like He loves us.
Blessings!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
"Sharon Washburn Center for Hope"
Several weeks ago, I was approached about lending my name to an effort in N. Richland Hills, that will aid battered & abused women & their children. This is program has already been used by the Community Enrichment Center & has ministered to & aided countless families as they get their feet on the ground, break the cycle of abuse & turn their lives around. I was honored to lend my name to the purchased appartment complex emergency wing of the program that's already dear to my heart!
A couple of weeks later, I learn History Maker Homes has joined the effort & is now building a community center for the property that is to be named "The Sharon Washburn Center for Hope"! WOW! This is overwhelming & I am truly honored to be a small part of such an incredible effort to help so many people. This will be a 5 month build & the Center will house 2 offices, a Children's Play Therapy room, a computer room for specific computer training, laundry facilites, a small kitchen & large meeting room for counseling sessions & get togethers amoung the residents.
The Emergency Wing will be for people fleeing their own house, from a shelter or abusive situation, that needs immediate help & shelter. Residents can remain in this wing for 60 to 90 days. During this time period, they are presented with a 2-year program that's available to them with stipulations for building a better life. Some of the stipulations for remaining in the 2-year program are remaining clear of their abuser, holding a job or getting into job training that equips them for a better life & future with their children. During this 2-year timeframe the resident lives rent free & is introduced to computer training, counseling, job skill training & life skill training. They will also learn stories about Jesus & know the reason so many volunteers help & teach & furnish the apartments. It is because of their love for Jesus. He is the reason for this entire heartfelt effort!
The apartment facility was purchased 2 years ago by people with vision & a dream to help others. The refurbishing doesn't come free, nor does the furnishings & free rent for the residents! A Small Group from The Hills Church has agreed to furnish apartments out of their own pockets! This refrubishing part will be approximatley $600,00 with $300,00 already given. Any contributed monies, large or small, will help set this effort on track & help women for years to come. So, please contribute, if you can, to CEC Sharon Washburn Center for Hope 6250 NE Loop 820 NRH TX 76180. Pray abusive cycles will be broken & lives will be changed by Jesus. Our goal is to offer Hope in Jesus. Hope is what changes lives! We can hold jobs & feed our children & live in big houses but if we don't have hope of heaven in our souls, we have nothing! This ministry provides Hope & that's why I'm so terribly excited about it & honored to be a part. Join in if you want! I'll post pictures as I have them with progress on construction of the Center.
Blessings!
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