Hospice visits are now increasing to twice a week per my request & their agreement that this needs to happen. The rapid cancer growth was confirmed again last Thursday & there's just so many places in my body this can grow not interfere with normal body actions. My body will not be able to do what it's doing much longer.
This is horribly sad to Mike, Randi, Taylor & me. Any of us & all of us, can only guess at the number of our days. (That number belongs only to God.) Some of you, who aren't even anticipating death, may face it before me. But, guessing & adding to what we know, this cancer continues on the same path & that is a short one. Much shorter than what I want.
I continue to take pain medications & am most thankful for these. As my back hurts from nerve endings & torso hurts from cancer growth, these meds make all the difference. Hospice is prepared & right on any & every need I have. A hospital bed was delivered to our house this week & that was hard for me to see. Wow, such a reminder this life is going quickly. I haven't moved to the bed at night time, yet. (Only nap-times at the moment). But, it's there when we need it for convience & help me sleep more deeply propped up. I'll move to that bed when the time comes but thank God daily for the medical care I've recieved all through this process.
This week, Mike & I are reminded that we're blessed in so many ways! It's embarrassing to even list all the blessings, but one of the ways is the diversity of people we know & love. We have friends all over the age scale & this keeps us blessed like crazy. We have friends older than us, our own age, young families a couple of decades behind us & then friends even in the youth group. It really is a blessing to know & love such a variety of people.
One such friend we were able to be with (I'm wthholding her name because I didn't get permission to use it) this week lost her ring finger in a tragic lake accident over July 4th. She is in her late 30's & did nothing wrong or out of line. She was "obeying all the rules on the lake" & didn't cause this freak & tragic event. It just is what it is. It happened & it stinks! I've prayed for her these 8 weeks & she will live & be okay physically. The blessing, though, about being around her is that she is sad & still leaning hard on the prayers of others. She's depending on a steadfast Father to see her through this tragic loss in her life. What a blessing to me to see a physically beautiful woman go back to the cross to get her bearing in life. Learn again where her hope is found & sustained. Although 20 years behind me in life's age, she reminded me of the sweetness of Jesus & how He loves us, oh, how He loves us at all times in our lives! Through our dark days, He's there!
Thank you, dearest friends & family. Thank you, Hospice, Thank you Sweet Father God!
Blessings!
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You have never left my thoughts and prayers...Love, Linda S.
ReplyDeleteOh Sharon, I cry as I read. But not just because I'm heartbroken, that He might want you in heaven much sooner than any of want, but for joy. It's so amazing to me how He works. And just how much of His love I feel from knowing you. That He would place me on your heart, although your physical struggles are so much deeper. After all, it's only a finger :). I hope you know what a blessing you are not to just me, but obviously so many others. He has certainly picked you out of the crowd ..... To bless so many. I love you!
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