MRI Scheduled

The follow-up MRI is tomorrow. This imaging will tell us whether the chemo is working or not. As soon as the oncologist hears from the radiologists, her office will call, but it could be as long as next Thursday morning before my next round, that we hear the results. So, pray, please for the chemo to be working & tumors shrinking! We trust God and would not choose to be anywhere else but with Him. Thank you for continued love, support and prayers for us! Truly, Mike and I are incredibly blessed!
I will blog the results as soon as we hear, for that will chart the medical course for the next few weeks. Remember that no matter what, God gets the glory here! I praise Him today, for He already knows these results and has gone before us.
Love and blessings!

PRAY! MRI coming soon...

A friend sent this word from the Lord to me today and it spoke straight to my heart. I needed to hear- again- the Lord's perspective on my life and the troubles here. I will not just look, but will FIX my eyes on the Lord! I need this laser focus on the Lord and ask you continue praying this for me. I cannot do this on my own, but only with His power and grace towards me!

2 Corinthians 4:17-18 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ...

Round #4 is done and the weekend was a challenge. After sleeping well on Thursday night, there was only 30 minutes of it Friday night. Stayed in bed all weekend with achiness and was not able to get to work today. But, my prayer is, I can go to work the rest of this week. Mike and the girls are incredible supporters and you who are "in the wings" praying, loving and supporting are unbelievable! I stayed humbled at the love and kindness expressed!

The Oncologist's office will be calling to inform me of the time and place of the next MRI now that #4 is done. The results are incredibly important at this stage of the process as it will be compared to the first MRI and tell us whether or not the chemo is working. PLEASE pray the tumors are shrinking! I know with all my heart God can make this happen and I'm praying He'll answer YES to this! IF His answer is YES, we'll stay on course and continue the next 4 rounds of chemo. IF the answer is No, chemo will cease and we'll go on to surgery.

I believe God loves me and I know I'm spending eternity with Him because of His saving grace. I believe He can answer either way on my life to bring Himself glory. He deserves glory from me no matter the answer He gives, so that's what I give Him. He deserves this because He is God, not because of the answers He gives. I'm His daughter, though, so I talk to Him with all boldness of what's on my heart, and that's healing this cancer and giving me more time here. Abraham, Jacob, Job, Moses and Jesus all spoke to our God with boldness and I believe I have that same priviledge. God answered these He loved in different ways, and was still God... so join me in asking what we really want and then giving Him praise for being the one and only living God!

First things first- Thanks!

First things first, and that's a huge thank-you to the Lord for giving me a full night's sleep last night! I am so thankful for this, that I can't really put it into words! Sleep does so much for the body and soul and I slept soundly! YEA!
Mike and I have 13 nieces and nephews, and 6 great-nieces and nephews between us. Each of these are dear to us. Bailey, our yongest niece had a 4th grade play today she invited me to, and if there was a way the Lord could get me there, I wanted to go. This morning Mike had to wake me up to see if I felt like going. (Did you hear me say he had to wake me up? Yes, because I was sleeping.... yea!) I sat on the bed and told him I really wanted to go. My parents picked me up (I didn't think I should drive) and took me to the play. It was a joy being there and hugging my sweet Bailey. The kids did a great job on the History of Texas and my parents brought me straight back home. I slept the rest of the morning until Randi took me for my injection. She's an amazing daughter standing ready to minister to me in any and every way.
What a great day I've had! The new meds have me a bit grogy and I've slept a lot, but I'm counting that as a blessing to get me through these toughest days. The sleep and rest are blessings beyond messure and family continues to top the list of all gifts from the Lord. A scripture sent to me today says, "Eyes haven't seen and ears haven't yet heard all the things God has prepared for the people who love Him." Now, that's an incredible thing to think about, isn't it? Our God is good ALL the time working on blessings right now he hasn't even given us, yet!
Blessings!

Update Chemo #4

Chemo #4 went so much better today than #3 had gone. I'm just giving praise to God for protecting me and thanking you for requesting this for me! The onconlogists issued a stronger anti-nausea drug for me to take just prior to the chemo drip. She also had put me on Prilosec for the severe acid reflux side effect, about 7 days ago. And, it's made a world of difference in sub-siding this effect on me. She then, has given me some guidelines on using pain, nausia and sleeping drugs together to help me the most on the challenging achiness in my body.
I slept when we got home for 3 hours and I can't tell you how thankful I am for that sleep! (I only slept about 30 minutes last night, because the chemo and steroids create such achiness and restlessness.)
I may have some down days this time, too, but feel we're on track to minimize these side-effects. YEA!!! YEA!!! YEA!!! I'm doing whatever I need to do to get this done. She said fatigue is going to get substantially worse from here on, too. So, keep praying about minimal side-effects.
Also, my new "Chemo Friend" that I've sked you to pray about, told me two great things today. One, is that her MRI (a week after her round 4) shows 60% shrinkage in her tumors! Praise God for saying "Yes" to her on this matter! I confirmed my prayers and excitement for her! Since they've not found a church home in Texas, she has a standing invitiaion to join us for church anytime. I want her, sometime, to meet the people who prayed, loved and supported me, and now have joined in doing the same for her! The second great thing is that she and her family were eating at a local restaurant in the last few days after her son's baseball game and a friendly couple sitting close to them struck up a conversation. Because of her hair loss and scarf wrap, it's obvious she's in chemo and the lady asked about her and how it was going. One thing led to the other and the lady said her minister's wife was facing the same thing. At that comment my friend said, "Sharon?" Turns out the couple was George and Pat Riddle. Now you can say all you want that that's coincidence, but not me! God introduced two fine families together and I'm thankful for this meeting . I know both families will have something of importance for each other since journeys have now joined.
God is work and we can see it when we just pay attention! I'm praying I'm paying attention!
Will close for now as the sofa is calling my name. I pray for sleep tonight and give thanks for the courage He gave me today (a huge part of that courage was in Mike's coming with me. He brings a calm straight from the Lord.) I thought for several days about Joshua and God telling him over and over, "Be strong and courageous, I am with you." God repeated that over and over to Joshua and did the same thing for me this week as His words echoed in my head. Thank you Lord, for you've blessed me one more time!

Answered Prayer!

Want to share the answered prayer before we leave for chemo this morning. My spirit is strong and a couple of days ago, the dread I had in facing today subsided and I'm ready to "face the day." This is answer to prayers for me! I'm not strong today because it's natural within me, but it's because the Lord is with me. Just wanted to thank you and Him this morning!
Blessings!

Chemo # 4- Pray, Pray!

Chemo #4 is in the morning. PLEASE pray. I'm so thankful He's big enough to carry me 'cause that's what's gonna have to happen! Love, thanks and blessings to all!

Friends of Faith!

Yesterday a precious group of women (some I've known up to 25 years) prayed over me. This was a sweet time because these women are heroes of faith to me. None of them have had "easy" lives but have walked through the fires of illnesses, death of spouses (through illnesses and homicide), deaths of grown children in the prime of their lives, survived divorce and single parenting, suffered sorrow in loss of family and friends, and the list goes on and on. You are just the same. I know so many of you who are praying for me, are dealing with your own "fires." Troubles, sorrow, chronic illnesses, broken relationships, daily care of loved ones suffering and pain are all around! The trust in God of the people in this circle of prayer is stronger now than ever! We have a long history with Him and as a group we have witnessed the sweet, sustaining grace of our God and see no reason to trust Him less! We choose, as a group, to love the Lord with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength!
The prayers of such people of faith are powerful! God is listening and working overtime in our lives! Thank you, Lord!

Thank you! YEA!

Went to work this morning not really knowing how my energy would hold. I worked half a day, came home and rested in the sunshine for about 30 minutes soaking up the Vitamin D and took it very easy the remaining part of the day. I feel SO MUCH better than the weekend... YEA!!! Opened a card from a friend a bit ago and the scripture inside is from Matthew 6:8 when he says to remember that God knows exactly what I need even before I ask Him. That is so true! God's word never grows old because it means something to my life every single day! Thank you, Lord, for this day of higher energy! What a wonderful gift on a beautiful day of sunshine!

Weekend update...

Last Friday afternoon, my body "hit a wall" and my energy level just went incredibly low. I went home from work and straight to the sofa. Fell asleep for about an hour and stayed on the sofa or in the bed until this morning. Having NO energy is just the strangest feeling. God sent me word through a friend's note on Saturday (which is just like Him, by the way.) The note reminded me on the days of low energy, my body is still hard at work! (This note comes from a breast cancer survivor about 3 years ahead of me.) Her body had done the same thing and her words encouraged me.
So, this morning, I'm taking a slower pace, but feel I have more energy and am going to work for half a day. I'll work more Tuesday and Wednesday, and am learning to pace instead of going all out, as usual.
Thank you for your continued prayers! Thursday is round #4 and I'm depending on the Lord to get me through it. Your prayers on my behalf are powerful and are so appreciated. I'll post again, as there are specific requests for round #4 and the week following. God is keeping my spirit close to His and protected. For now, I'm heading out to work and pray blessings on you. God has given us this day and together we rejoice in it's blessings!

My Weakness = His Strength

Whew! This week, as I've mentioned, has been a doosey! It's about midnight and I slept for a couple of wonderful hours. But, am wide awake now, have been praying for myself and a lot of you, actually... so, thought I'd drink a Carnation Instant Breakfast and write a note of what's on my heart. You may see a couple of posts soon as my heart has been full through my weakness this week.

As I also mentioned, I went to work for most of the day on Tuesday, but Wednesday, called in to the office and stayed home for the day. So many of you stand ready to help me through, and I'm forever grateful, but there was nothing anyone could do for me physically. I just had to rest and rest. Before Mike left for work Wednesday morning, he got me all settled in with anti-side effect meds and "tucked" me back into bed so I could sleep until his return for lunch. I didn't move from the bed while he was gone, but couldn't go to sleep for anything! So annoying! Part of the chemo (and old age LOL!) effects is restlessness and it's frustrating to not be able to fall asleep when it's needed so badly. Mike got home for lunch, fixed me a bite to eat, gave me meds again and laid down beside me. He put his hand over on me, and I drifted off to sleep! I slept an hour and he didn't make a move! When I woke up, I realized he was still there... he said since I'd finally fallen asleep, he wasn't about to to make a move that might wake me up! (The greatest earthly gift God has given me is Mike. He wrapped him up, tied him in a bow and handed him to me on a silver platter 33 years ago! No deserving action on my part, just a pure gift from God!) Thank you, Lord! (I'll write a bit more about Mike later...)

The accumlative effects of the chemo were more difficult on my physical body this week and evidently will do this through Round #4 (next Thursday), so, "all hands on deck" in prayer! I've just felt lke I was getting a bad case of the flu immediately following round 3. Achy, restlessness, chills, nausia, acid reflux- did I mention nausia? (Sounds like all my pregnant friends out there! LOL!) The nurse has given me some stronger anti-side-effect meds now, to help combat this, so I should be able to "on top" of things more this next time. Also, they've told me if I'm going to work, that is all I need to do for the day. Work, then go home and rest the remaining part of the day... this is hard for me because it's not the lifestyle I'm used to. But, I'm obeying their orders to help get well! Listening and obeying- no arguing from me on this!

Through my weakness this week, I'm reminded of God's strength. He says,"My grace is sufficient for you; for My strength is made perfect in your weakness." II Cor 12:9 Yes, God is showing His strength this week in my life because of my weakness. He is carrying me and I know it. Through all the time I've been alone during this ordeal, I've not one time been lonely. He is near- just as He's promised. He's strong- just like He said He'd be. He's merciful- just like always. No doubt, my weakness = His strength!

"God did it!"

Haha (Mike) taught Cason to shout "God did it!" when there's a beautiful sunset or he sees a rabbit in the yard. He yells, "God did it!" as he examines the new spring flowers & honey bees. Cason yells with his whole heart, "God did it!"

So, Cason, help us teach Braden to yell this with his whole heart, too! As you guys grow and look back on these tough times in our family and ask yourselves how your parents and grandparents got through them, yell with your whole being, "God did it!" When you pass through difficult days of your own, give God the credit He deserves, and keep shouting, "God did it!"

Tough days will come and God will sustain you! He will do great things for you! Yell loudly with praise all your days, "God did it!" "God did it!" "God did it!"

~Sweets

Hum-dinger!

This afternoon I think I turned a corner on feeling better after this last round. This round was a hum-dinger! Been off my feet 5 days with nausia, restlessness and achiness. Shed some tears, too, as emotions have been raw with such little sleep over those days. Whenever anyone says something nice, the tears just begin streaming down my cheeks! Crazy, huh? Just now feeling somewhat back to normal. I'm so thankful! I got up and went to work today, but was only able to stay a while and then went back home to try to sleep it off. I was able to fall asleep this afternoon and when I awoke, was able to eat a baked potato with cheese! This was such a blessing! I've taken my good health for granted at times in my life and am so sorry for that. I've not appreciated feeling well or having a healthy appetite. I'm much more tender toward those who fight illness much more than me. The Lord is teaching me to really appreciate what He's given me for many years. He's teaching me what really matters and I'm listening! I don't want to miss one word He's telling me. I want to "get it!" So, when we talk, I ask Him to make it clear to me... anything He wants me to know.
You continue to amaze Mike and me with your utter thoughtfulness and love for us! The community of the church is by far and away the biggest blessing on earth! Jesus knew we'd need each other and placed us in a family together. We're not a perfect group of folks, but we are forgiven and saved by Jesus Christ. So, we thank God everytime we think of you!
Mike and I continue to do well in our spirits. We're not "down" or defeated by any means. We know these few days through each round are the natural consequences of the chemo. We're praying hard it's doing it's work and the tumors are shrinking. We're still asking God to say, "YES!" to us on this. In our 33 years of life together, we stand submitted to our Lord. We know He loves us. We give Him all glory for all He's doing!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for praying. We continue to lean hard on God's grace.

Round # 3- Done!

By my own choice, I did the chemo thing alone today. Many family and friends have offered to take me, sit with me and then drive me home. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but this was something I needed to do by myself. It may sound wierd, and maybe it is... but, it was really on my heart, gave me focus, time alone and time to listen & watch for the Lord. Just something I needed to do for me.
My blood count was very strong (answered prayer), so that allowed me to proceed with treatment today. Before treatment, I also saw the oncologist. She answered every question I had, explained some things to me and understands the spiritual aspect of this journey I'm on (another answered prayer). She agrees that eventhough the medical community has put mortality percentages to this disease (I'm grateful for the extensive study of breast cancers), she understands my belief that I'm not a percentage, since I'm a child of God. I'm thankful to be with a team of physicians who know when God is in the mix, all bets are off! I want and need their knowledge & medicine, but my trust is in God, and they're okay with that. Even glad about it! (Having believing physicians are more answers to prayers!)
Got pretty nausiated today during the "Red Devil" injection. Whew! Almost lost my cookies! LOL! (This chemo thing is not for the faint of heart!) But, made it through, ate some crackers and am good to go! Round #3- done! Thank you, Lord!
The Lord opened doors to discuss Jesus today, too! This is an answer to my prayers about going alone today. I know there are people in that chemo room who need to know of His love for them. Need to know they're not alone in this journey of life. I got to talk about Jesus with a new friend today and I'm thankful. So, eventhough you don't yet know the names or faces of these new "chemo friends" of mine, I ask you pray specifically for them. Pray for the people I'm meeting because I have cancer. Pray God use me anyway He chooses for these dear ones. Thank Him for the ones who already believe in Him and pray for the ones who are searching! I want, with all my heart, for cancer to count for something. People matter to God! He loves us and if cancer can help spread that word, then cancer it is!

Maybe at 52!

Maybe it's because I'm 52 years old, but time is flying by! Maybe it's because I'm 52, but I cherish the days now, more than ever. It's not bad at all being 52. Life is full and fun! Thank you, Lord, for life itself!

Going in the morning for chemo round #3. Thank you all a million times over for your prayers! God is faithful and carrying me right on through as promised! He never said life is free of trouble. His promise is to be with me in time of trouble. (Trouble is a sure thing... but, He's not scared nor weak in troubled times. Don't know about you, but I want Him right by me in the trouble of this life!) Part of His answers and carrying of me is that I have not even gotten a wave of fear this week! Let me tell you that is a direct answer to prayer! This is not of myself! This is a gift from Him to me and I thank you for praying this for me. I'm at as much peace now, as I can remember being, and that is not normal through chemo. That is from Him!

Please do not stop praying! All our prayers together are are powerful & I'm depending on the spiritual protection that comes from the power of our Lord. So, I continue to sound the trumpet for prayers, and I don't say that lightly! I'm praying for you, too. People who pray for one another draw attention from Satan. He stands ready to attack people of faith and I'm praying protection for all of us who stand together.

Pray because He's listening and answering! www.biblegateway.com is a web-site Mike directed me to long ago. There are different versions, etc, so any of you lap-toppers out there can have the Bible at any moment when you're traveling, etc. I think I've mentioned this in a previous post, but the scriptures some of you are directing me toward talk about waiting on the Lord. I've been reading these scriptures and the interesting thing I'm finding is that strength comes from the waiting, not in the answers. The waiting (or, placing hope in the Lord) builds strength! None of us are used to waiting- for anything, really. Seems like most everything is warp speed. Mike and I drove through Arby's the other evening and had to wait about 3 extra minutes. Then, they apologized to us for the wait! Crazy! Waiting on God isn't always easy, but it's a must with Him. Life belongs to Him, He spoke it, and it was done. This is His battle and I have to wait on Him to fight it His way. He gets to call the shots in my life. He wants me to wait and trust and hope. Not panic, try to fix and run ahead. Maybe at 52, I'm understanding the only sure strength is His strength. At 52, it's more enlightning to wait than forge ahead. At 52, I trust Whom I'm waiting on. Maybe at 52, I'm finally starting to get it.

Medical Update

My blood count last Thursday was right on target and the doctors are pleased. This allows me to continue treatment, so I'm thankful. Thank you for praying this for me. I get the lab work done every week and pray it will continue on this course. God has given me the answer I've asked for on this and I'm so appreciative!

I'm also appreciative of His answer to minimal side-effects. I'm really doing so well! Many of you who see me, make the comment of how healthy I look. I feel well most of the time, really. In the two week chemo schedule, I only feel nausiated 2 to 4 days (just following treatment) and a bit more tired than usual. But, with the anti-nausea drugs, I'm not vomiting (sorry for being graphic), of which I'm so grateful! I'm able to only miss 2 days of work every 2 weeks! I'm working, grocery shopping, going to church every other week and seeing my grandsons every few days! So, I believe God is answering this request, too!

Pray hard God will answer our request that my body respond to the treatment and that the tumors are shrinking and dying! I have 2 more treatments and then testing to see if that's happening. So, pray God says, "YES!" to us! We believe He can! No matter His answer, we trust Him completely!

Cason and "Thomas"

Didn't I tell you God redeems times and "misses" in our lives? I may have missed the "Thomas the Train" ride last Saturday, but my sister-in-law, Juanda, sent this first picture to us as a taste of what's to come from her! Is he STINKIN' CUTE, or what? I love this photo and see the wonder in his eyes. Cason loves "Thomas and Friends." He knows all the names of Thomas' train friends and will only let up on that tight little grip of Thomas with prompting from Mommy and Daddy when it's time to eat! Thomas does sit right on the table, though, ready to be taken to the next adventure as soon as the last bite is taken!

The picture is a bit blurry (thanks to me) but Randi finished embroidering Cason's name and little trains on this backpack for his birthday from me. (Thank you, Randi!) Again, God is good! Cason loves his train backpack, and will take it to "school" each week. We spent some time with them last evening playing trains! Oh, God redeemed the time for me, alright! Didn't skip a beat in his life! Thank you, Lord!

Labs & Thanks!

Prayer request, friends! I go in for lab work tomorrow and I want God to keep those numbers strong. I need His protection of my immune system so I can continue treatment.

Thank Him on my behalf for all He's doing. It's just making my head spin! He's given us you!You're an amazing bunch of believers who are sold out to the Lord and are blessing us beyond meassure! Mike and I thank Him every single day for you!

I love you and don't say that lightly!

Follow Me? It's a Choice.

Today we attended the funeral of one of Mike's sweet cousins, Pennye. This was just after burying her daddy, Mike's Uncle George, in February. Friday will be the funeral of a friend, Troy, who's family just buried his baby grandson, Cash, too. These are family and friends we love, and it's sorrow on top of sorrow that so much suffering would happen in such a short time to them. It's a lot to think about, to try to get my mind around.
There's a lot of things I don't know or understand. For instance, I cannot scientifically prove the existence of God, nor can I scientifically disprove that existence. I don't know or understand everything about God, either. But, God doesn't ask me to scientifically follow Him. He doesn't ask me to learn it all, and then follow Him through knowledge. He only asks I follow Him in faith. "Faith" tells me I won't have all the answers in this life, nor will I be entitled to them. Following Him in faith is simply a choice He asks me to make, that's all. Will I follow Him when I realize I will never know it all? Will I trust He knows what He's doing when He won't always fill me in on the details? Will I believe in Him when there's suffering all around that I don't understand?
There are a lot of people I love who are suffering, but I still follow Him with the measure of faith I have, however small. I believe with all my heart He loves even when He seems silent. I trust in Him completely even without all the answers given to me. I don't need them. Not with this God. He doesn't have to explain Himself to me. He doesn't need me to prove anything for Him as He's constantly proven Himself over and over. I trust Him with my cancer, the thousands of people I love & my own life. I believe He cares even when He doesn't give me answers at the moment.
Loving and being loved by so many people multiplies the joy in my life but it also multiplies the sorrow, at times. Walking beside people through their suffering isn't an easy thing. It might be easier to protect myself and just not love so many people, then I wouldn't have to suffer with them when they're hurting. Never! I would not love one less person to save myself suffering, because I'm an eye-witness to His blessings and sustaining love and grace through it all. I've seen what He does in our lives, eventhough, He doesn't always explain Himself to me or lay out a plan for my approval. Through this sad season, I don't have to have all the answers. Faith is what this walk is about. God, please grow my faith in these times!