"Chemo Diva"

Since I've not felt like writing for a couple of days, it's only fair I have 2 posts today, right?Just want you to know that I'm feeling better and stronger today. My body seems to be responding in the reproducing of healthy blood cells I need to get well again. Please keep praying the cancerous cells are dying!
My family has lovingly dubbed me the "Chemo Diva." This is a title I wear with honor and conviction! I'm totally spoiled by my sweet husband, so there's no denying it! If you know us very well, you know our family laughs and plays all the time. What fun! Yes, I think "Chemo Diva" suits me just fine!
I'm completely blessed and see God at every turn. Many times, it's when I see or hear from you. He reflects himself through you and sends words of encouragement, love and strength to me! Thanks for allowing Him to use you the way He does! It's powerful!
Seeing God comes in lots of ways. Mike called for me to look out the back window last evening about dusk. There were 2 cute rabbits just enjoying themselves on our lawn. So cute and a delight to watch. Mike knew I'd enjoy them and I did. I really see God through His creation and I watched them for a long time and thought about the delight God gets from them. There's also a hawk that lives close by that we see almost daily. He can soar through the sky and is just fascinating! The dove in the yard are so beautiful, too, and work diligently building the nests for their babies. All these creatures do what God created them to do... that must bring Him such joy. I want to do the same thing. Do what I'm created to do. Bring Him joy. Make Him smile. Be His delight. Yes, be the best "Chemo Diva" to His glory!

"Thomas the Train"

WOW! Been a rough few days with a couple of "one-two" punches, but NO KNOCK OUT! Can't keep a girl down for long! Whew! So thankful to be back at work today and feeling close to "normal." Thank you, thank you, thank you for your generous hearts toward me. Mike and I continue receiving emails, cards and texts from you expressing your love and prayer support for us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!
Saturday was blistery cold and the day Cason Michael had tickets to ride "Thomas the Train." That may not sound like a big deal, but take my word, anything having to do with "Thomas," is a big deal! Randi called me Friday night and assured me it was okay to stay in bed Saturday morning to take care of myself. (God gave us the 2 girls we have by no mistake! Both of them are strong in their faith and have deep love for us. I'm forever thankful!) Of course, Saturday morning came and Mike got ready to go ride the train with Cason, as promised. Our niece, in graduate school, stayed with me while our sister-in-law joined the group to take pictures of the whole event for me! How can I ever thank her for such a sweet gift? She documented the whole thing and will send me the pictures soon. I cried some tears Saturday morning. Intellectually, I know Cason is only 2, he'll not remember that I wasn't there, he'll move right on to the next thing... these things I know, but these weren't tears from my intellect. These were tears from my heart. There's much joy in sharing in the lives of family and I wasn't able to be there. I've asked God to grant me the health to ride that train next year when "Thomas" comes to town! Randi says we'll ride next year and we'll ride as soon as I'm up to it, too!
As God and I discussed Cason and the train ride that morning through my tears, He gave me much peace about staying in the bed. That was the right thing to do and He will redeem the time I missed. He's good that way. Not only does He care about me for eternity, He cares about me today. He cared Saturday morning. Oh, the sweetness of the God I serve!

Yes to Rest!

Thinking about the subject of "rest" lately. Doctors have told me numerous times that my body MUST have rest in order to re-build the healthy blood cells the chemo is killing along with the cancerous cells. Awe, rest... sounds good, doesn't it? But, for me it's easier said than done. At times, I find rest illusive. There's always something to do, somewhere to go, someone needing something. Rest? When? How?

I dare say all young parents I know, don't even know the definition of rest; Then, there's school, sports, youth activities, etc, etc, etc. You'd think "empty-nesters" would get plenty of rest, but, you'd be wrong. Life is as busy as ever, so, rest remains evasive.

Jesus says, "Come to me all you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest." I don't think He's just talking about sleeping or vacations, He's talking about true rest for the soul. Rest from deep within. Jesus says He'll give rest to me- as a gift. So, that's what I'm doing. I'm taking Him at His word and giving Him the burdens I carry, laying them down and resting in Him. Resting from the burdens of life, from illness, brokenness, resting from careers and ambition, purely resting. I'm resting in waiting rooms, resting in traffic, resting at chemo, resting at home. I'm going to Jesus at every turn because that's where He's said to go... straight to Him, and resting in my soul. When you see me next, you may think I'm awake and active, but I'll really be resting in Jesus!

Gifts, Love and Forgiveness- All in One Day!

I mentioned on an earlier post that Wednesday was a blessed day for me! I had sported my wig to work for the first time, and co-workers were so kind about that. Then, as I was working, my friend Karen pulled me out of my office to see most of the company gathered around a huge, pink tub filled with gifts for me! These were not just gifts but ones full of thought for me! A soft pillow, body lotions, socks and slippers, pj's, chap sticks, books of humor, books of scripture and encouagement, gift cards for itunes, Chili's and Starbucks, a scarf for my new do, and the cutest pink and white Tx Tech baseball cap (I must say I look cute in it!) There were healthy snacks, jewelry for reminding me who I am, and even a puzzle book! All this added to the numerous CD's, & huge number of cards, emails and letters we receive daily from friends at church and people who don't even know us! All things to make me more comfortable and encouraged! So, all the gifts are incredible, but the thoughtfullness behind them makes me weep!


Then, that evening I received a quilt from my Small Group at church with a verse from Psalms 139 embroidered on it! (You can see the scripture over to the right on the blog.) It's comforting to know God is everywhere before me, after me, all around me. It's overwhelmingI I wore some of the warm socks and covered up with this quilt at chemo yesterday morning as the IV meds administered get me so cold! The medical staff have lots of blankets for chemo patients, but it sure was fun taking my own!

My friend, Lynn, sat with me through chemo so Mike could stay at the office before meeting me at the house later, and while we sat, she read sciptures to me out of one of the books I had just gotten. We laughed and talked for those 3 hours and what a sweet gift of her time she just gave to me! Amazing, that so many of you are willing to give me that valuable time in your lives. I'm humbled by your generosity.

I prayed for forgiveness, too. For all the times I've overlooked sending a card, or offering an encouraging word, been too busy to sit with someone, not giving a gift when one would have been cherished. I sincerely am sorry for all those "misses." God has forgiven me now, and I'm praying will give me many more opportunities to do good for others. My eyes are more open than ever! Watching! Doing for each other is doing for Jesus! Thank you, all, for your doing!

Yes, it was a blessed day- to recieve thoughtful gifts from people who care, spend time with a friend and meet a new one, and receive forgiveness from the Lord- all in one day!

Yesterday & Today

Yesterday started as any normal day. Got up, got ready for work, put on my wig! Seemed like the natural thing to do, so I did it! On my way to work, I prayed. That's what I do every day as I drive. (I think I might as well make good use of all the time spent in city traffic, so I pray in the car, but I keep my eyes open, in case you're wondering!) I start my prayers with praise (for me, this kind of sets the tone and puts me in my place compared to Him). Then, I talk to Him about other people. Next, I ask forgiveness (I have to this as I mess up daily!) and blessings about my own needs of which there are many. Lastly, I thank Him for as many blessings and answered prayers as I can think of! (The more I think of, the more that come to my mind... hmm... funny how that works!) Thanking Him keeps me more thoughtful, so I end my prayers that way. I tell you this to say that while I was praying, I got a wave of fear across me. It hit me that Thursday morning I'll walk through the doors & take meds that made me sick a few days ago! The first round of chemo, I was a bit naive, which worked in my favor. But, now, you see, I understand a bit more... I know the consequences, or some of them... and fear crept over me. I told God about this fear and was reminded that I cannot give fear a place to live in me! Eventhough fear visited, it will not reside! Fear will not control my heart! I thank you with all my heart for your prayers, because not only is God listening, He is answering and protecting me from fear! This courage is not within me by myself, but a gift from God. I can tell you that the rest of the day and even now as I write, I'm not afraid. That's amazing, but true! There are so many scriptures I'm holding tight to about fear, strength & courage... Isaiah 12, says "I will trust and not be afraid, for the Lord is my strength and song. He is my salvation!" I'm holding to His promises and am grateful He delivers!
Today, I've just finished round 2! I'll sleep the rest of the afternoon due to anti-nausea drugs, for which I'm thankful! I met some new friends today, too. We'll talk about them as we go, but one lady is Jami. She's fourty years old today & cute as a bug! Happy Birthday! I know we'll be friends... another blessing to add to my list! I have to tell you about the blessings of yesterday, too... but, this post is long. So, that will be shared a bit later. Just know that God loves & gives us more than we can ask or imagine! How do I know this? I see it with my own two eyes!
Blessings and thanks, my dear ones!

Identity

Today all my hair is gone. Yep, fell out just like doctors said it would. I was hoping God would override this side-effect and let me keep it, but He's said, "No," and is allowing me to face the natural consequence of the medicines I'm taking. I still believe He can override this disease with a whisper, but He's choosing I (we) walk the road, for now. I still choose to trust Him, for I believe with all my heart He knows what He's doing.
I have to tell you that having a husband who knows exactly what he's doing with the electric clippers and razor, is a HUGE blessing at a time like this! Mike and I had already decided that when my hair started falling out on it's own, we wouldn't wait around, but would be pro-active with the clippers! This morning, as I was getting ready for work, the time came... so, mid-morning Mike came home from the office and buzzzzzz! Reminded me of the military ads in the '60's & '70's showing the long-haired guys getting their heads shaved as they prepared for Viet Nam! So, my head is now as smooth and soft as a baby's bottom! So weird!
I don't mean to make light of this situation, for I've shed some tears today... not just about the loss of my hair, but the stark reminder that I'm sick. I've felt so well these last few days and this is a tangible reminder of the state I'm in. I appreciate all the ladies in my life who've walked this journey before me and have given me encouragement in this aspect of cancer. You ladies are giving me courage and I owe you a lot of gratitude!
Have you ever noticed all the blessings mixed in with times of sorrow? I really see a bunch of them already... like some great people with cancer & medical staff that I'm meeting. My sweet, sweet husband! My two incredible daughters! And, mostly, the blessing of identity. I'm not my hair, or my abilities, or my talents. That's not what makes me, me. I'm a daughter of God; an heir to eternal life with the Lord. I'm the beneficiary of the life the Lord means for me to have here, receiving His gifts of peace, joy & contentment. So, losing my hair today doesn't mean a loss of identity. It's a bump in the road, for sure, but a head without hair sends me right to the true identity source. Right to the feet of Jesus!

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY, CASON!

HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY, CASON MICHAEL!
In two short years, you've filled our hearts up with joy! We love you more than we could ever put into words, buddy! Have a happy, happy day!

Cason, Haha loves playing ball with you in the yard! Love just keeps spilling out all over the place with you around! We're so thankful God gave you to our family! You are wanted. You are loved. You belong!
Happy Birthday!
Haha and Sweets

"Honey, Do..."

Good news for all! Mike insists cancer has not impaired my ability to continue adding tasks on the "Honey, Do" list for him! LOL! I'm sure I don't know what he means. Me? Honey, Do's? Truly, if he was not so gifted at accomplishing every single task, I'm sure there wouldn't be so many... but, he can do just about anything and everything, so what am I to do? I wanted to give this encouraging news from Mike to you, as I know deep in his heart, he's so glad I can still think of a million things for him to do!
Just wanted to share, but gotta go.... thought of just one more thing! Now, where's that list!
Sweetheart, have you seen my list? Sweetheart?

Pray On!

Whether you have been a believer in prayer for many, many years and have seen the power in it, or you're a "long-time listener- first time- pray-er" and are going to "try it out" on me... let me tell you I appreciate you all! I believe with all my heart that God listens to and answers prayer. I've seen Him at work over & over & over in my 52 years, so, welcome to ALL pray-ers, everywhere, old or new! I stay humbled at the numbers of people praying for my family and me, but even if there was only one of you, it would matter to God and me! So, pray on!
Some answers to prayers these two weeks:
1) Minimal Side-effects; I'm completely thankful I was able to work all week long! My appetite returned fully the past 3 or 4 days and I've been eating "like a horse!" The nausea of chemo knocked me off my feet a few days, but my body responded to the anti-nausea drugs and ibuprofin for aches and pains. I believe God answered all our prayers for minimal side-effects. I'm grateful for this answer and ask Him just as hard for the coming week!
2) Protection of my family: My immediate family is healthy and strong, so that's a direct answer to prayer for protection! Also, though, last week a brother-in-law needed surgery. This week, a sister-in-law's in the hospital with a serious infection and the grandsons are not completely well. (I'm telling you the good with the continued challenges so you'll know this family is real & needs God's grace!) So, please pray for my whole family. The whole bunch of us needs your prayers! I believe God will protect my family as we depend on one another and need each other so much. So, continue this prayer, please!
3) Protection of my head and heart and continued steadfast focus on Jesus: I also felt well enough today to work with Randi on our home based personalized embroidery business. She & baby Braden came over while Eric watched Cason and we got work done on designs, etc for a couple of orders we're working on. Then, after one small order sewn, the thread balled up and machine jammed! Never had a moment's trouble with this machine, and now am at a stop-down on these projects. Of all times! Isn't that just life? It's always something, isn't it? Just confirms to me -one more time -to put my trust in Jesus and not anything that's in this world! Work hard, have fun, serve the Lord and enjoy our time here on earth... but, always remember, it's not "built to last!" My sweet husband is looking at the machine right now for me... oh, the things he does for me and the life lessons I learn in the little things! Sometimes it's the little things that can get me most! But, not today! It's a machine and will break-down from time to time. "Things" do not earn my trust- only Jesus!
Below are the words of a song Mike and I have loved for a long time by Rebecca St. James. I'm reminded of it today as I pray for my loved ones, for friends who are needing God's merciful touch, for all reading this blog. Jesus,

This is the air I breathe

This is the air I breathe

Your holy presence, Living in me

This is my daily bread

This is my daily bread

Your very word, Spoken to me

And I, I'm desperate for You

And I, I'm lost without You

Blessings...

FAQ's...

Q: You look like you feel well and not sick at all. How are feeling?
A: I have had no discomfort at all (until chemo). But before I found the knot under my arm and started treatments, I felt just fine. Didn't feel ill or anything.

Q: What exactly is chemo and how often do you have treatments?
A: I'm not a doctor but can give you a lay person's understanding of chemo. Chemotherapy is a mixture "cocktail" of different medicines combined to attack and kill cancer cells that are rapidly reproducing and out-of-control. The problem with chemo is that it can't tell the good from the bad cells, so basically, it's killing everything to give the good cells opportunity to reproduce. "One size- does NOT fit all" with chemo. Pathology reports break down the make-up of the particular cancer which gives Onconolgists the information they need to mix the "cocktail" for that particular cancer on that particular patient. Breast cancers can be very different from each other- all depends on the make-up of those cells- and there are various treatments and various "cocktails." My particular regiment is chemo every two weeks (8 rounds) lasting over a period of 16 weeks. Mine is a particularly aggresive "cocktail" to combat such aggressive cells. Different medicines in the chemo mixtures have different side-effects. (That's why you see some women lose their hair and others keep it... their chemo may be a completely different "cocktail." OK- enough of my highly intellectual medical explanations!

Q: How do you feel after chemo?
A: Generally speaking, I'll have several rough days following each round of chemo, be at home, then, as my body reproduces healthy red & white blood cells, I'll begin to feel better & stronger- just in time for my next round!

Q: What can we do for you?
A: PRAY! I do not mean this lightly. We are DEPENDING on your prayers and God's strength to get us through. Right now, with just Mike and me, I don't think we need dinners brought to us... YET. I think there's coming a time in this marathon where we'll rely more and more on you. Mike makes or gets me whatever I feel like eating at the moment... since planning ahead to what might sound good isn't really working for me. He makes a mean omlet, etc! He completely spoils me!

Q: What can we pray specifically?
A: My body respond to treatment; minimized side-effects; PROTECTION of my whole family (if you know me at all, I don't need elaborate on this one!); strength, courage, peace, protection of my heart and steadfast focus on the Lord. I do NOT want my head turned to the right or left, but to walk this journey the way He wants me to... bringing Him glory. I can't do this without your prayers and encouragement. Thank Him for me! I'm ridiculously blessed! I mean this with all my heart! It's unbelievable- unless you know my Father... then, you get it! So, thank Him- above all!

All the Difference...

A few weeks ago when I went to the hospital for the CAT scan, a "God moment" happened that's on my heart to tell you, so here goes.
A freindly lab tech took me to a holding room adjacent to the scanning room, where I changed into one of those cute hospital gowns (I bet you know what I'm talking about!) The room was very cold, (I think all hospitals feel the need to get things really chilly!) with 2 chairs and a locker for personal belongings. The Lab Tech came back in, got the IV in my arm and just as we were entering the scanning room, another person from the ER needed priority over me, so back into the holding room I went. I sat there with my arm "just-so" due to the IV to wait my turn. As I sat there I noticed a mirror that took up the whole wall! I thought, "Are you serious? A full-length mirror when a girl's not exactly looking her best!" Hospital gown, IV, shivering with cold, quiet, alone and a huge mirror with no where to turn! So, I sat there. And, I stared. I stared at myself. I took a long look into my own eyes, a look into my heart and asked myself some questions. " Who am I - really? When the rubber meets the road, who am I? Do I truly believe what I say I believe? Who am I from my core, from my "insides"? Who I am now that cancer's in the picture?" I saw so many weaknesses as I sat there staring in that mirror. So many fears and frailties. I don't believe I've ever just stared at myself for 15 minutes in the mirror. Of course, I look in the mirror daily as I brush my teeth and get my make-up on. But, I mean really, really take the time to look in my own eyes, my character & my spirit.
As I asked myself these things, I also asked God, "Who I am - to You?" I believe I'm a cherished daughter of the Lord, and I thought about my oldest daughter staring at her own sons. She knows them intimately well. Knows every curve of their little faces, freckles and crooks of their smiles. She even ascertains the difference between the sounds of their cries and knows if they're hurt, pouting or scared. Since I'm God's daughter, I believe He knows me that well, too. He cares that much. He sees me through this life and knows the cries of my heart.
Looking back, I know God gave me those few minutes with that huge mirror -to examine myself and come to terms with who I really am. He knows I'm too weak to do this alone, and He brought assurance that His strength will carry me. He knows my "pouty" cry and reminds me He's big enough to be in charge. He knows I grow weary and gives me complete rest in Him.
Those 15 minutes staring in the mirror were "just what the doctor, (or, Great Physician) ordered!" So, no matter what strengths or flaws the mirror shows, who I am- to Him- makes all the difference! I am His child, the love of His life, and that is ALL the difference!

Counting Blessings- a Full-Time Job!

Counting blessings is a full-time job! I've thought of a million of 'em today! Everything from feeling well enough for work today, (Yea!) doctors & meds for Cason (another ear infection), airplanes that make long-distance travel possible, people, people, people, God's saving grace for me, good food (Mom's home-cooking tonight), cars (battery was dead this morning & a friend jumped it to get me to work), grocery stores, stores of every kind, home, hot showers, the sunset as I write & long naps! The list is infinite!
Part of my blessings list includes co-workers. This group is especially on my heart since I was able to go back to work today. It's a group in my life praying for me, stopping by my office to say hi, sending emails of scripture and encouragement, and helping cover whatever is needed for me right now. I couldn't ask for a better company to work for and more supportive people surrounding me at my job. Capable people, caring people, praying people. God put me right where I needed to be these 9 years and as I count my blessings, I include each co-worker!
So, tonight as the count continues, know that if you're reading this, you're on my list of blessings!

Some Family Time

Got my girls and my boys! You tell me- is God over the top good, or what!

You guys are my joy!

I didn't know a heart could hold this much love! Thank you, Lord! How could I ask for more?

What a great weekend having Tyrel and Taylor fly in! The whole family has supported and loved me. We actually laughed and laughed (which is what the Washburn's do a lot of!) this weekend. Sweet medicine to the heart and soul! The first chemo is over and prayers have been answered. God is near. He is listening to your requests on our behalf. We are blessed. I'm feeling well enough to go to work tomorrow and hope to work the week. I'm following orders in eating the needed protein for my body and getting plenty of rest. (Oddly enough, I rested very well knowing family members were in the house, going through the pantry and fridge, playing cards and being together. The normalcy of it all was so comforting.)

Eventhough I slept the greater part of two days, I feel God gave my family the time we needed in being together. My tears flowed as Tyrel and Taylor got out at the airport today- sure, I was sad, but it was also because I was overjoyed and thankful for the time with them.

One of the scriptures sent me this week is from Isaiah. Listen to what God says about Himself. "For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, "Do not fear; I will help you."

He Is and He has and I thank Him!

No Place I'd Rather be!

The feelings of nausea came in small waves these last two days, so I'm thankful for the anti-nausea drugs that allowed me to get me through this first bump in the road. I admit I'm spoiled in having good health my whole life. They're years at a time at work that I've not even taken a sick day. I'm blessed with a lot of energy and am on the go... so, having this sudden event take some of that energy is a bit annoying! My family let me rest, brought me Smoothie King and sat around with me when I awoke. We played a low-key game of cards (Mike and Tyrel had no mercy on Taylor and me! Can you imagine! LOL!) Then, back to bed for more rest, for the ONE thing I HAD to do, was be at church.
I sat there tonight thinking there was no other place in the world I'd rather be! Around me were people who've known the Lord for years and years, and others that are just beginning their journey with him. My immediate family were all together on "our pew." There was a variety of ages, different races, mixtures of backgrounds... all there to know God better. I pray each service for all of us who are listening... that we'll take the Word of God to heart, and the study of God's grace to all of us in I John was powerful! So, I was thankful for where I was, but especially, who I am, in Christ! Thank you, Rick, for your dedication in study and teaching the Word. You've stood true all these many years, and blessed my life. Not only have I been spoiled physically, but God also chose to get me started out with believing parents who taught me to love the Lord from day one. I wonder why He's given me such gifts? I can only thank Him, for it's nothing I've done to deserve such grace.
There have been comments recently because of the cancer, about me being a "good" person. Let me tell you, I'm not that great! I'm not even good... but Jesus is. That's all there is to it.
Continue to pray because of His goodness! I need this power and am dependant on it as the strength is not in me. I cannot walk this journey without Jesus. So, there are no limits to prayers or hugs! Got it? No limits!

It Cannot Go Without Saying!

This cannot go without saying... thank you! Thank you for sending your thoughtful emails and cards with scriptures of encouragment and strength, and prayers to our Lord! Thank you for the links to songs that fill my heart & thank you for the texts that encourage and remind me to stand strong! Thank you for praying through the day and night. Thank you for asking others to pray! Thank you for being ready to help with the tasks of life. Thank you for the CD's and gifts tied to scriptures that remind you of me, ones that have given you strength and hope in your own past journeys! I stay humbled at the Lord for giving me so much in you. Your generosity of thought and spirit is overwhelming! The deep love & faith you show for the Lord is rock-solid and will not be moved!
The Lord be praised with the sheer, bold love you're showing my family and me! The Lord receives all the glory for the "guts" you display as you stand with us! Our Lord is soverign and deserves all praise and glory and honor- all of me- all of us! The community of believers world-wide is strong and deep and powerful! I praise Him and thank Him- and I can't go without saying it!

A New Do!

A new do!
A girl's gotta look good, even through chemo, right? Randi, Taylor, Tyrel and Braden took me to a small shop and helped me pick out a wig or two yesterday while I was feeling up to it... how can I ever thank them for standing by me like this? I admit I had a few tears, so, they'd allow me a minute, then back to the laughter and fun of trying on wigs. Girls, now don't be jealous that I can be blonde one day and a brunette the next! You may just see me as a brunette down the road. Why not? ('Cause there's no way I can be as cute as my sweet husband and wear his "do" like he does!)

Today's a bit different... it's a little after noon and a cold, rainy day. A good day to stay inside and that's what I've done. Very tired, a bit nauseated and needing to rest. I'm praying to the Lord today as I wake between naps to please, please make my body respond to this treatment and have minimal side-effects. Thank you to all who are praying these prayers with me... I should feel better in a few days.

God continues to pour blessings on me in having my family here and right by my side! He also is listening to you on my behalf, so keep praying whatever is on your heart for me! I know He'll answer for my good and I know His faithfulness!

Love and blessings!

Happy Birthday, Eric!

Happy Birthday, Eric!
Hope you have a good day today. You're a wonderful husband to Randi and a great dad to Cason and Braden! I'm glad you're a part of this family!

P.S., God!

If you have children, you know when they finally get to bed, you hear these little voices coming from their bedrooms... "Mommy!... Daddy!... I'm thirsty!" You pull yourself out of the most comfortable position you've been in all day, to get them a drink, and encourage them that it's now time for bed. If you have pets, they're just about as bad, needing to go outside just when you've gotten all comfy for the night. I'm that child tonight. I've got something else I want to add to the thank you list and the request list in calling out to God... I fully realize this list continues to grow and I am also fully aware I'm his little girl calling His name in the night... so, I'm sure He understands it comes with the territory of being our Father, so I ask! He even has told us that sometimes we don't get something because we didn't ask for it... don't want to make that error, so the asking continues!

1) Thank him for "Cindy" at my first chemo this afternoon. She overheard at the desk it was my first time there, bee-lined it to us, just to say we can do it. She's nearly done, so, we may not see her again, but I thank God for her. She wasn't imposing and returned to her friend, but her determination to give us a word of encouragement was intentional. We'll watch for "newbys" God puts in our path with the same intention of encouragement as we journey along.

2) PLEASE ask God that the side-effects are minimal. I've not shared this list with you, yet, as I don't want to overwhelm you, but take it from me, they're there! Now, since you and I believe God has the power to do this, I'm asking Him to take them from me, or minimize them and still have my body respond well to the benefits of the chemo. We trust Him on this.

Thanking you again may begin to sound trite, but Mike and I thank you with all our hearts! The cards and emails received keep us humbled at such people of the Lord. Your words are encouraging, the words of the Lord you choose to remind us of fill our hearts with courage, comfort, hope, joy, trust, and endurance. The Lord's words tell us who we are and where we stand with Him. So, when you're prompted, please continue to point us to His words! Walking with Jesus is a blessed walk, indeed!

Today's Prayer Requests!

Completed the out-patient surgery this morning, eating and resting just a bit, then off to chemo (approximately 2 and a half hours is our understanding.) Mike will read and work on his lessons as he sits by me and I'll read and nap.
Two specific things to take to the Lord today: One, give God a huge thanks that we live in this country and in this time, with such fabulous medical care and staff. Eventhough the system's not perfect, it's the best time ever to be a woman! I think God knew I was too weak to be born a century or two ago! LOL! He's my protector, and I'm well aware of that!
Second, please pray HARD, beg if you have to, that my particular body's chemistry responds to treatment. I'm believing God is going to say "YES!" to this request and I need you to join me specifically in "telling Him our heart's desire." That's my heart's desire- so, that's what I REALLY, REALLY want! I'm not at all afraid to boldly ask this of my sweet Father! He loves me, and wants to give me good gifts! So, Father, I'm putting it out there! Please make my body respond, make the tumors shrink, and make the cancer die! Thank you, in advance, for going before me. Thank you in advance for answering this request. I trust you completely! I accept your answer completely. Your will for my life always! Thank you, thank you! Thank you!

Welcome Home, Tyrel!

Welcome home, Tyrel! We can't wait to get the call that your feet are standing on American soil this evening and that you're with your wife at home tonight! We pray God gets you home safely and swiftly tonight! We're so proud of you and thankful you'll be together a while! Welcome home! Welcome home! Welcome home!
(I actually wrote this at 1:00 am on the 10th, but the clock on my computer was wrong... I don't know how to fix the date, but it should read the 10th.)

"How Can I Help From Singing Your Praise?"

Praise goes first! Our oncologist welcomed a second opinion and we received one today from a leading expert in the field of breast cancer. He confirmed this is the correct course of treatment for the cancer I have. He agreed our team's agressiveness is the only way to attack this particular breast cancer. We are grateful for this medical confirmation in our fight and believe the Lord went before us, yet again!

As I traveled from place to place in the car today, I sang this song over and over and it flooded my soul! If you haven't heard it, please find it, listen to it and crank it up! I dare you not to sing! Double dare you! May it bless you like it does me!

"How Can I Keep From Singing Your Praise?"

There is an endless song

Echoes in my soul

I hear the music ring

And though the storms may come

I am holding on

To the rock I cling!

How can I keep from singing Your praise?

How can I ever say enough, How amazing is Your love!

How can I keep from shouting Your name?

I know I am loved by the King

And it makes my heart want to sing!

I will lift my eyes,

In the darkest night

For I know my Savior lives

And I will walk with You

Knowing You’ll see me through

And sing the songs You give

I can sing in the troubled times

Sing when I win

I can sing when I lose my step

And fall down again.

I can sing ‘cause You pick me up

Sing ‘cause You're there

I can sing ‘cause You hear me, Lord

When I call to You in prayer

I can sing with my last breath

Sing for I know

That I'll sing with the angels

And the saints around the throne!

by Chris Tomlin

Truly, it was a full day! Work, hospital pre-op for a procedure in the morning, then back in the car to the doctor's office for "chemo training."

So, out-patient surgery in the morning, 1st round of chemo in the afternoon. Our heads are spinning! Our hearts are secure. Our hope stays strong. Our course is set. Our faith- all of it- is in our Lord!

You, my friends, are people of incredible faith! You're boldly in our corner! Your determination strong! Your friendship steadfast! We thank our God everytime we think of you!

Up for a fight?

Not sure how to begin this post other than to say I sure am thankful for all of you guys loving and praying for Mike and me! We'll be forever grateful and are now asking even more love and prayers on our behalf.
We met with the surgeon and oncologist this afternoon. The breast cancer I have is aggressive and fast growing, and not the news we were hoping to hear. Chemotherapy is beginning Wednesday. I'll be in this treatment for 16 weeks, then will undergo surgery, which will be followed by 6 and a half weeks of radiation. The advantage doctors have found in administering chemo first is that it can immediately attack the microscopic cells as well as the masses and avoids the delay in healing from surgery. I'll be closely monitored weekly and have access to a host of support staff. So, here we go. Are you up for a fight? There's one ahead! I'm not talking about a fight against God, because He's on our side! I'm talking about a fight against a disease that's invaded my earthly body. We need your prayers and are counting on God's grace to get us through the journey before us.
Let me be clear. Mike and I love our Lord. We do not waiver on living our lives for Him. Our very existence is from Him and for Him. He will see us through. No matter the outcome, we are His and we praise Him. Please, please, praise Him with us! There are so many things we don't know, but we do know we are His, created and loved by Him, and will live with Him forever because of His saving grace toward us. We don't want anyone to mistaken this disease for a lack of love from our Lord.
We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for the cards and emails we've received from you. We stay overwhelmed at the love you have expressed toward us! We count ourselves the richest of all people to have you by our side!

"I'll be there!"

There are few words more comforting to hear than, "I'll be there!" from people you love. Not only have I heard these words from the ones I call family, but their actions this weekend "put their money where their mouths are." Both sides of our family came together, re-arranged their schedules, wore "Team Sharon" t-shirts (thanks, Don!), reserved the restaurant (thanks, Randi!), provided hotel rooms (thanks, Tom!), brought the bracelet (thanks, Susan!), took photos (thanks, Juanda and Shelly!), co-ordinated the Boren side of the family (thanks, Tim!) and kept the secret (thanks, Cindy!) Oh, wait... LOL!
This was a blessed time for us! It was a stop-down in the busy-ness of life, a stop-down in our schedules to simply express to each other what's most important. To demonstrate that the words, "I'll be there!" are more than just words. These people showed up and showed me their love and support. The Washburns and Borens both know how to express love and aren't afraid to do it! I'm most blessed and grateful for the heritage of our families! (If you're reading this and think our families are perfect, you're sorely mistaken! We're just as crazy, weird and dysfunctional as any other family... just have learned to appreciate the diversity and uniqueness of all members and love each other anyway! Hum... sounds like something Jesus would want us to do! Imagine that!)
So, family of mine, I thank you! I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Everlasting, Hope, Defender, Protector, King!

My heart is so full today, I think it may burst in Praise to Almighty God! He's been gracious to us (all of us) this week! (Please read Randi's post today as she's articulated perfectly what she, Taylor and I are feeling after last evening!) Ladies out there- if you don't have Christian sisters in your corner, go get you some! I'm begging you to reach out and gather women of faith around you without delay!
Some of these faith-filled women have pointed me to music that's ministering to me right now. Maybe it's because I'm a child of the 60's, I don't know... but I love music! I love all kinds of music and listen to a wide variety of artists. I don't really sing that well, but I just "belt it out" as I'm driving along... I'm sure I look ridiculous to other drivers as I just sing and sing! Christian music is my favorite and there are songs that speak to the heart of this journey. I listen to the insight expressed through songs written in praise to God and am touched to my core. There are countless songs of praise and I want to share some with you from time to time. Read these words!

Everlasting God by Chris Tomlin (shortened due to space)
"Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord!
Our God You reign forever
Our hope, Our strong deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint,
You won't grow weary
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord!
Our God You reign forever
Our hope, Our strong deliverer
You are the everlasting God
You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles
You are the everlasting God! "

Wow! My Everlasting God, Hope, Defender, Protector and King! I thank Him for not getting tired and staying awake through the night and protecting me in my weakness! I thank Him for increasing my strength while I wait on His answers! Can you imagine that you and I have an open invitation to speak at any moment to the King of the universe! Maybe some day I'll get my mind around it, but for now, I walk in faith that He means what He says! Yes, my heart may just burst today!

Thank you, thank you, Lord!

The doctor called a bit ago and the bone scan is negative! My bones are cancer free! I'm so grateful to God for this answer to all our prayers! We've been united in asking God for this answer and He's been gracious in giving it to us! Isn't it just like Him? He doesn't just barely give to us, but pours blessings our way! Either way- He gets the praise just because of who He is... and, we're so, so, so thankful for the answer, too! Thank you, Lord!

We still await the pathology report and the consult with the oncologist next week. But, now we know it is breast cancer since the body cavity and bones are clean. We're honing in to determine the course of action.

My prayer request today is pure and simple- it's praise! I want to take the time to say thank-you and show appreciation for His merciful hand towards me. So, please join me today in just thanking Him! I don't want to run to the next request (there are so many, it seems) without running to thankfulness first!

Blessings and thanks, dear friends!

Either way- it's Praise!

Today we should find out some very significant news; the results of the bone scan and the 2nd biopsy. These results will steer us on an appropriate medical journey. I want to post before I know the results because, Either Way- it's Praise! God has already shown His faithfulness each step of the way and is literally covering us up with His grace and presence! Each of you reflect unique aspects of the Lord and we're seeing Him everywhere! We're safe with the Lord in his house because we're family!

"Better is one day in Your courts
Better is one day in Your house
Better is one day in Your courts
Than thousands elsewhere!"

Lord, you already know the answers you're giving today. You are before us and you get the praise for what you're already doing! Either way- it's praise because You deserve it! I'd rather spend one day with you than thousands without you!

Waiting...

The doctor's office called to say there's no news, yet, from another pathology report or the bone scan. I appreciated that call so much just to let us know... so, I'm passing the same "no word, yet" on to you. You're waiting with us and I want to do my best to keep you up on the latest word, even if that's nothing at the moment. Reminds me of the scirptures about waiting on the Lord, and having renewed strength, and soaring like eagles... we're waiting today, but that's okay.
Love and blessings to all!

Isaiah 43:2

Wow! I know you won't believe that I can be at a loss for words, but that's how I'm feeling right now! I'm just so thankful to my sweet Father for what He's done for us today! First, I was able to get the CAT scan and this afternoon, we've learned the core area of my body is cancer free! PRAISE GOD! We're just so very thankful God answered this way! He didn't have to, but He revealed His mercy through this answer!
Another prayer request facing the day was that we could be with a team of doctors we could feel good about and have full confidence in. God led us to that team. They are focused and co-ordinating a plan of action! Words just really don't do it today... we're ever so thankful for His leading and these gracious answers!
We're facing the coming days with a great deal of hope because God has already seen us to this place. There's still a lot we don't know but He's shown us His presence and that's all we need! Tomorrow morning is the bone scan and we're begging Him, yet again, for this test to show no cancer! One of the scriptures from you that's come to us more than once is Isaiah 43:2, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you." We claim this promise of our Lord!
We're continually amazed by the spiritual "marathon" runners in our lives who've committed to this journey with us! You build us up and we're humbled by your love for us! Cards, emails and texts have poured in and we are encouraged by your words and the words of the Lord you're passing on to us! What blessed people we are to walk life's journey with such people as you!

Mark it Down!

Ever doubted God answering specific prayers on your behalf? The thing I'd tell you is, mark it down, track it & keep record of His faithfulness! Do it on my behalf, but, make certain you do it in your own life, too! Wow! God is at work all around us and for us! Just gotta keep marking it down!
This morning before walking out the door to work, I begged God for 2 things. One, that He would not allow anxiety to rule the day or my heart. I refuse to let Satan keep me anxious! If I live in that state, I'll go crazy, and we don't want that! But, I can't do that on my own. I HAVE to have my Father's peace and calm. The other request today- that God set the appointments with a particular surgeon that's highly recommended but difficult to get in to see and the CAT and Bone scans asap.
My Father is calming my heart (I'll write more, but know He's given me Mike...enough said.)
The events of the day by 2:00pm prove His faithfullness, as I have an appointment with the desired surgeon tomorrow afternoon, the CAT is scheduled for tomorrow morning and the Bone Scan for Wednesday morning! Now, how about that! Do any of you think that's coincidence? Not me! Mark it down, my friends! Mark it down!

Little did I know...

Little did I know last year when I donated to the Susan G Komen 3-day, 60 mile walk, it would effect me so intimately this year! I gave on behalf of my sweet sister-in-law, Juanda, who walked in New York and had more than one friend effected by cancer. I also donated on behalf of my nephew's wonderful wife, Amanda, as she walked after her mom passed-away from her heroic battle!
Now, Jeanne Stone, one of Taylor's best college friends, has contacted me, wanting to walk the 60-miles in my honor! How humbling is that? Jeanne signed up for the walk 4 days before we knew anything! She felt God's calling that this was the thing she needed to do and 4 days later I'm diagnosed with metastatic carsinoma! If you are so called, please go to Jeanne's page and donate. No pressure, as everyone need only do what they can, but please go to her site and read her kind and courageous words! It's http://www.the3day.org/ then you'll type in Jeanne Stone, which will take you to her page. She writes her statement as to why she's walking this walk! She says she is no longer scared to walk or ask for donations, because it's now for me! Wow! I'm forever grateful, Jeanne!

25 Years at Richland Hills!

This is the family photo on the front of the assembly program today marking our 25th anniversary with the Richland Hills Church of Christ! Oh, my goodness! Where has the time gone? How can 25 years pass this quickly? We count our blessings as we serve the Lord with this family of believers! We get to walk and serve with the finest, most godly and humble servants on the planet! To all the elders, present and past, we thank you for your guidance, teaching, confidence in and encouragement to our family! We're also completely filled up with the fabulous preaching of God's word every single week and the time we all spend together in praise of "the One who made it all!"
This past week has been a tough one, no doubt, but we know every family praying for us is also in their own journey of faith and trial. We're not the only ones craving God's presence and power! We're not the only ones in desperate need of God's mercy! So, we walk our journey together and lives our lives deeply in Christ, who provides it all!
Thank you, dear ones, for these 25 years of sharing in your lives and living in the Lord! All glory and praise to the One who deserves it!

Heart Broken for Sweet Friends!

This week some sweet friends had their baby boy go home to Jesus. My heart is broken for you as you say good-bye to a seemingly, much too brief stay on this earth! We're blessed that our families' paths have entertwined these many years and we know the deep love and strong faith you have in our Lord. We're heart broken and grieve deeply with you, but we don't grieve the way the world does! We TRUST we'll see sweet baby Cash again! We BELIEVE he's in the arms of Jesus and is living as we speak! We love you, dear friends!