Staying or Going?

Recently in conversation in our family, there was talk of greater understanding of walking in each other's shoes, that made me realize some things I want to share.

Over the past 2.5 years, Tyrel has been the one leaving his family, his country & all he knows to be deployeed across the world. He's been exposed to other cultures, foods, holidays & climates. He had to learn new routines, come face to face with the enemy & train friendlies for the future success of countries abroad.

Taylor, on the other hand, was the spouse who stayed back & held down the homefront. She held her job at the hospital while being half a country away from family. She entered a quiet, lonely home each evening after work, ate every meal alone, kept up the maintenance of a home, yard & vehicles. She paid all the bills & kept the day to day routine running.

This routine is what they both knew until last February. When I was in California with them, saw a doctor & realized my cancer was back in full force, they got me on an emergency flight home to Texas & lots of things changed.

It was Taylor who left her home for 6 weeks to come minister to me in Texas. She was the one busy every day with a new baby, a mother who was facing cancer, again & a new routine. She was the one challenged each day with challenging surroundings & anything but routine.

Tyrel stayed behind in California for his work. He's the one with the day to day routine, holding down the homefront & taking care of car repairs. He's the one walking into the home after a full day of work, to a quiet & lonely home that's full of furniture but missing his precious wife & daughter. He misses their laughter & family routine.

So, both have now walked in the shoes of the other. They've both seen what it takes to face the day the way their spouse faces it. Neither way is easy. Neither is desireable because it's faced without the person/people that mean the most to you. Tyrel has said he never realized until this 6 weeks in February just how hard it is to be the one left behind. He thought the leaving for deployement was hard, but realizes staying at home is just as hard- it's just different.

This conversation has prompted me to put myself in the other's shoes on this whole cancer thing. I'm the one with the disease & I'm the one leaving for a while. I'm going to a place I want to go & will be busy praising a God I want to praise. Each moment & new routine with living in the Light will be joyful & there will be no more hurting or tears. My faith will be sight & I'll finally "get it!" So, with all this information that I believe to my core, I'm the one with the easy job!

The loved ones staying behind me here on earth are the ones with the difficult job. The people here who love me & have to maintain the day to day routine without me. The ones who have to get out of bed every day & face the bills, the troubles, the diseases & conflicts of life. The ones who wake to face the joy children bring knowing Sweets isn't here to face it with them. The ones here who still walk by faith every day of life here as we know it. These are the brave ones, the strong one & the faithful ones.

So, sorrow I feel now, will not be felt from me when I leave this place. It's not me that's of concern. It's people I love & who love me in return that Holy Spirit comforts. I have to believe with all my heart He has it all covered! He cares for all of us- not just me through this illness- but all of us! Mike & I know that no matter where we are spiritually, He takes care of us to our core. Our part is simply letting Him do what he does. For, He supplies strength, peace, comfort, joy & understanding. He gives it freely & I pray the people who love me & say good-bye to me, will accept everything He has to give & live life to the fullest IN HIM!

Whether staying or going is the order of the day, Holy Spirit has it covered, & I'm so thankful He does!

Blessings!