The Lake or Bust!

Cason & HaHa fishing. Braden chillin'.

Cason & Daddy tubing. Sharon & Tim.

Braden lovin' kisses. Cason lovin' the sun.

Taylor & Tyrel havin' fun in the sun!

Cason & Aunt Taylor lovin' the lake!
Nothing would do for me but to be with extended family at the lake Memorial Day. Seriously, Mike HAD to get me to the lake if it killed me! I rested 2 straight days to have the energy to get there & looked forward to it more than words can say. Mike stayed true to get me there & as I sat on the dock in a swing & watched all the activity around me with people I love, all I could do was soak it all in! Shelly's family (claimed as our own) & our's had 4 hours or so of fun & sun & it was priceless to me! (Since Randi had the camera, there are no pics of her... and so, that needs to be corrected right away.) God gave me the gift of family & His presence that day. I'm saying, He's ALWAYS good!

Blessings!

Mixed-Up Day

Alot on my heart, so I'll get right to it. This morning was rough. Long-term good-byes to people we love - just stinks! The blessing was Tyrel & Taylor got to visit a few days & the hard part was seeing them drive off to return to their home in Virginia. Boy, oh, boy... Mike just let my cry it out. Loving so deeply makes those good-byes HARD! (Thank goodness for cell phones, emails & technology to shorten those long, long miles between us!)

Then, labs were later in the morning. The blessing was the white blood count stayed strong. The harder news was the red blood count dropped. Blessing is doctors ordered me a booster shot which should fix the situation & not add additional pain to the bones... so, just like everything in life, there's blessings mixed in with the difficulties. Life is always a mixture & God is always- I mean always- good through it all. He says through Jeremiah, "Call to Me & I will answer you. I'll tell you marvelous & wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own." (The Message) It's amazing how God is faithful to do just what He's said. No way I could ever figure out life on my own & then He shows me something about myself, sheds light on His character, clarifies & comforts. Sometimes He gives immediate answers & sometimes He doesn't, but He ALWAYS, ALWAYS is faithful in showing up!

Chemo round #7 is on schedule for next Thursday. Joint pain is managable with pain meds & fatigue continues to be high. You continue praying, loving & supporting- which is amazing considering the many weeks (& now months) we've needed you. There's a card several of you have sent our way that says, "No ocean can hold it back. No river can overtake it. No whirlwind can go faster. No army can defeat it. No law can stop it. No distance can slow it. No disease can cripple it. No force on earth is more powerful or effective than the power of prayer." (Christian Expressions by Dayspring) I read these words over & over & know they're true! The reason I know prayer's power is because our God is on the other side!

Blessings!

Feeling Like Myself

Feel more like myself today than the past few weeks & am so thankful! The fatigue has just been overwhelming, at times, but this afternoon I feel like I got a second wind. I know not to count on this for long & have learned to pace myself, so that's what I'm doing. I've not felt like sitting at the computer the last few days, but wanted all to know I'm doing well overall.
I got to spend some time with family over this weekend & eventhough I was exhausted sometimes & just had to lay around, I was still able to enjoy the activity about me. Everyone waited on me hand & foot & understood the rest was required... it's such a blessing to have people around me who really do love & care. I'm most fortunate.
Labs will be this Thursday & if all counts are strong, round #7 the next Thursday. The week following round #7 will be significant as we'll meet with our surgeon & will have more info to share at that time. For now, though, we really are commited to staying focused on completing chemo. We're giving all our focus & energy to one day & one task at a time. I've said before that chemo is not for the faint of heart, & I mean it more today than ever!
God has remained so faithful & that's exactly what we knew He would do! He's told you & me that when He's for us, who can be against us? Mike & I know- without question- He's on our side!
Love & blessings!

Memorial Day

A sobering day & one worthy of expressing gratefulness for people who have chosen to serve the greater society. Those who's lives have been taken protecting the weaker ones both in America & across the world. I'm not at all ashamed to be a patriot & admit I'm not brave enough for this task.
Today I thank the families & troops who've paid such a high price so I can live, work, and be whom I choose... so many of the choices I have are because of the choices of those before me.
Today I stand amazed at the bravery of ones who's daily decisions can mean life or death; for when I go to work, nothing I do is to this magnitude.
Today, Memorial Day, I have a heart FULL of thanks!

Round #6 Done! YEA!

6 hours from start to finish yesterday pretty much was exhausting but Round #6 (of 8) is done! Yea! God opened a couple more doors of opportunity to share His comfort to others & we feel our "chemo" friends are no coincidence! So, in the midst of difficult, difficult days, the blessings of relationships grow & prosper! Only God can do that!
I'm feeling pretty well right now due to the large amounts of steroids & pain meds given to take these rounds of chemo. Joint swelling is one of the serious side-effects & to fight that, doctors administer high doses of steroids with the chemo. As this wears off today, the high fatigue takes over. That's what happened to me last round. There's nothing to be done for this kind of fatigue but to wait it out. I'm so thankful for the anti-pain medicines, so I'll just endure the faitgue... trade one for the other, right? I'm also praying God minimize all side-effects as they are doozies!
You contiue to amaze Mike & me with your love, support & commitment to pray for us! There's no way we could be thriving through this without the power of your prayers & the mercy of our Lord! He truly, truly is good everyday. You know this, too, in your own lives. He's amazing to watch & His mercies come at every turn!
Blessings!

All In!

In every person's life, there seems to be a spiritual corssroads. A time a person must choose between the world & it's offerings or Jesus & His way of life. This battering back & forth in one's life truly becomes miserable over time. Not completely engaged in loving & serving the Lord, & at the same time, not completely going full out with the world. This lifestyle becomes nominal, at best, & is quite frankly, a lonely way to live, for my tatse.
For me, the crossroads, the time of choosing once & for all, was my freshman year in colloge. I was attending ACU & at best, was non-commital to fully engage spiritually. I played it more by being partly spiritual & partly participating in the world's side of life. Sometimes went to church, but didn't go if I got a better offer. Didn't participate in church when I went but just simply sat as far toward the back as I could. (This was just to appease myself that I had gone to church at all.) This sort of "playing church" created guilt & sadness & didn't at all fit my personality of love & service to others. This was not for me. I wanted all or nothing but wasn't ready to make the full comitment either way... until one night in my dorm room. I was there alone & distinctly remember my prayer to God. I described where I was spiritually (He already knew) but I asked Him to either give me more faith to believe in Him more & the courage to really commit my life to him or simply let me go, so that I wouldn't have to live in this "torn" state. I asked God for more faith & the desire to serve Him wholeheartedly. That's what He gave me. Since that time, I've never looked back, never asked myself if I was going to trust Him or not, wonder about my salvation, ask if I'd ever be good enough to be saved (answer is always no to that one!), go to church or not, never had to decide if I was going to sing praises or give money. I've already made the decision to love His people & serve them, so that's not decided week by week- it's a done deal. From that day, I was ALL IN!
ALL IN was the most freeing time in my life. I drove stakes in the ground about my relationship with God & who I was with Him. There was now much more clarity in my life, fewer questions to toss around since the decisions were already made. I'm so very thankful God pulled me into Himself & didn't let go! I know I'm His daughter & am completely confident in my salvation with Him.
This desicion opened other doors of friendships, too. I saw people differently & were drawn to those who's lives were being lived in the Lord. It was a few months later that I met Mike. It was clear from our first conversation that He was a man of God, commited to & loved the Lord. (This can be a bit disheartening as a young wife to think he loves Jesus more than me, but he did.) The truth of the matter is that the great love Mike has for the Lord just spills over on me every day! He loves me at a deeper level because of the Lord than he could love me on his own. I'm the benificiary of their great love for one another! The same is true with me. I'm a deeper loving wife because I love the Lord. I respect Mike at a deeper level because the Lord shows me how. This deep love & respect for each other serves us well these days! The incredible blessing of living fully in the Lord proves to provide blessings in the toughest of times. I'm not saying we're perfect. I'm saying we're blessed. I'm not saying it's always easy. I'm saying we're thankful the Lord provides us the ability to love this deeply!
If you don't find yourself loving your spouse this way, I tell you to run to the cross! Get to the feet of Jesus as quickly as you can, because He is the ONLY one who can teach you to love others the way He does. Watch how He loves you as he hangs on that cross. See Him give His life for you so you can get to God. Observe the way He loves others, including your spouse. Copy His character. Study His words & plant them deeply in your soul. He loves you this much & wants us all to know this kind of love!
I'm still ALL IN even through cancer- wouldn't trade that decision for anything in the world. ALL IN with Jesus gives me a life of no regrets & allows me to really live & really love! I'm ALL IN for Jesus because He's always been ALL IN for me!
Thank you, Lord!

Tears in a Bottle

Blessings to all who've asked my family about me & are still praying after all these weeks! You are marathoners & we're grateful & still leaning very, very hard on the grace of our Lord!

Never really experienced fatigue like this- ever- in my life! That's the most recent side-effect of chemo & is really hard to explain adequately. I've not posted on the blog as I've not had the energy to sit at the computer & write just from being so terribly tired. The achiness & joint pain, eventhough it's tough, has been controlable with medicines. But, the fatigue "is what it is!" Nothing I can do but lay down, take it a day at a time & wait it out! The scripture in Isaiah continues to ring in my head that those who wait on the Lord shall have renewed strength. He's been faithful every day of my life, so there's no reason for Him to stop now! I claim His promise & know there will be a day I can have wings like the eagles, run & not grow weary!

Tears have come this week, too. I tell you this because I'm human & not super-woman. I think I've been grieving over the losses I feel. I've lost my energy, active lifestyle, ability to work many hours or do things I'm very used to doing. The tears have come & now are gone for the moment. Grief often catches us off-guard but is necessary to healthy living. It's sad to me that time is lost in doing things I love to do. But, I don't think the time is gone forever... just re-distributed. Make sense? God speaks & comforts through the tears (& has provided me an incredible husband & 2 daughters who are amazing) & once again, makes sense of it all. So, He catches my tears in a bottle, picks me up & moves me on.

Besides my salvation & spiritual blessings, my greatest earthly blessing is Mike. If I ever find a flaw in him, I'll be sure to let you know! God wrapped him in a bow & handed him to me on a silver platter! Why? I have no idea! Just incredibly thankful He did!

Today I was able to work 3 hours, eat a bite of lunch, take a nap & now am sitting up on the sofa. I'm so thankful for this! It may sound simple, but to do these "normal" things is just wonderful! I'm thankful these few days before the next round on Thursday are proving to have a higher level of energy for me. Keep praying, my friends!

Love & blessings to all!