From this human perspective, it's easy to say good-bye to 2009! This year has been- well, it's been a year to remember! Breast cancer, three surgeries, chemo & radiation make for an eventful calendar in the course of a year! Scans, labs, doctor's appointments, prescriptions & doing it all over & over & over- well, it's not something I'm gonna miss on a daily basis! Just saying...
2009 has also carried some more hard things- both personally & for people I love & care about. 2 Marine Corps deployments for my son-in-law & daughter; a myriad of family & friend illnesses & deaths; loss of jobs for many friends; divorces & a host of family matters for people I love; lots & lots of tears & prayers in 2009.
But, would I change any of it? Can't say that I would, really. God hasn't changed one bit thru all of 2009! He's remained His true self by displaying His mercy, comfort, strength & soverignty at every turn! Reading Job 40 this morning (The Message) reminded me of a conversation between God & Job. God asked Job if he wanted to haul Him into court & press charges after everything that had happened to him. Job's response was simple. "I'm ready to shut-up & listen."
That's how I feel right now. No questioning of why's & how's of the past year- just want to listen to the Lord. Just want to know Him better. Just want to participate in His will for me. Just want to see Him in everything & have the faith to walk the road He's set before me.
What about 2010? What's it going to hold? What's going to happen? What will be the results of more surgeries & cancer? What about more deployments for our Troops & my son-in-law? What about the families I love who are in turmoil? What about jobs? Will they come back?
The answer to all these questions is that I didn't set the stars in the sky. I didn't speak the universe into existence. I don't hold the mountains in the palms of my hands. I don't know the answers & don't want to know them. My God knows them. My God goes before me & that's all I need to know!
I will not walk into 2010 without Him! But, with Him, I say ,"Bring it on!"
Blessings!
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Happy Birthday, Mike!
Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!
Hope this day is a happy, fun day for you! I love you from the bottom of my heart & am blessed to spend my life with you!
You're the best!
-Sharon
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Happy 1st Birthday, Braden!
Happy 1st Birthday, Braden!Braden,
Our family is better because you're in it! It's brighter & happier! It's funnier & more tender! It's more joyous & interesting! God blessed us when He added you to our number!
You're a very special gift to us & we've not taken a minute with you & Cason for granted this year! We love you & hope you have a great, great day with lots of hugs & kisses!
Blessings, Baby B!
-Sweets & HaHa
Thursday, November 19, 2009
The Silversmith
In January 2008, my sister-in-law, Cindy, sent me this email forward. She & I had absolutely no idea that 1 year later, we both would hear the diagnosis, "cancer." She with thyroid cancer & me, breast cancer. I was re-reading this & thought about all the ways God watches, cares, protects & refines me. All the ways He's blessing me that I take for granted. How He pays attention to all the "behind the scenes" & intimate details of my life.
"Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner & purifier of silver."
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study & they wondered what it meant about the character & nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver & get back to the group at their next Bible Study. That week, the woman called a Silversmith & made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the Silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire & let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time. The man answered that , "yes," he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her & answered, Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."
If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you & will keep watching until He sees His image in you!"
Yes, my Lord is doing whatever it takes to make me look like the daughter I'm supposed to be! The one He's created. The one He's so proud of! Sitting by the hot fire, refining every detail of my life! No, I had no idea when I first read this email exactly how hot the fire could get- but, I trust THE Silversmith! I trust He's watching every second & paying close attention until He sees His own merciful reflection in my life!
Blessings!
"Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner & purifier of silver."
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study & they wondered what it meant about the character & nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver & get back to the group at their next Bible Study. That week, the woman called a Silversmith & made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the Silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire & let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time. The man answered that , "yes," he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her & answered, Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."
If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you & will keep watching until He sees His image in you!"
Yes, my Lord is doing whatever it takes to make me look like the daughter I'm supposed to be! The one He's created. The one He's so proud of! Sitting by the hot fire, refining every detail of my life! No, I had no idea when I first read this email exactly how hot the fire could get- but, I trust THE Silversmith! I trust He's watching every second & paying close attention until He sees His own merciful reflection in my life!
Blessings!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Praising in the "Yes!" & "No."
God has been so merciful to us, AGAIN! The bone scan shows, "no evidence of metastatic disease," which means the cancer hasn't spread & there are no tumors in my bones! My family & I thank Him from the bottom of our hearts! We don't accept His mercy lightly & know this is a precious gift from Him!
As I've written from the beginning of this journey, Mike & I commited our lives to Jesus Christ many years ago, & when we did, they became His- not ours. Our Father can use us any way He chooses for His glory & we submit to His will. So, even if the news had been different today, the cry of praise would be the same! I know & love many people with cancer. We don't all receive the same news at the same time, but we still serve a merciful, loving God! Today, He is using a "YES!" over my cancer to bring Him praise, so we praise!
This week we've heard a "YES!" & at the same time some others have heard "No." This has been & is an incredibly difficult week in our country! The murders of 13 soldiers & civilians & wounding of 30 more at Fort Hood is unspeakable! We still trust Him to bring good out of what a man wanted for evil! We praise Him for being a God of love & not hate! For true followers of Almighty God, this brutal act on other human beings is heart wrenching! There will be rewards for the hearts that hold on to God through such wickedness of man!
So, for all our days of "Yes's" & "No's" we proclaim, "Praise!" For the days we hear, "cancer" & the days we hear, "clear", we sing, "Praise!" For the days- all the days- we choose "Praise!" Then, "when we've been there 10,000 years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less days to sing God's praise, than when we first begun!"
Blessings!
As I've written from the beginning of this journey, Mike & I commited our lives to Jesus Christ many years ago, & when we did, they became His- not ours. Our Father can use us any way He chooses for His glory & we submit to His will. So, even if the news had been different today, the cry of praise would be the same! I know & love many people with cancer. We don't all receive the same news at the same time, but we still serve a merciful, loving God! Today, He is using a "YES!" over my cancer to bring Him praise, so we praise!
This week we've heard a "YES!" & at the same time some others have heard "No." This has been & is an incredibly difficult week in our country! The murders of 13 soldiers & civilians & wounding of 30 more at Fort Hood is unspeakable! We still trust Him to bring good out of what a man wanted for evil! We praise Him for being a God of love & not hate! For true followers of Almighty God, this brutal act on other human beings is heart wrenching! There will be rewards for the hearts that hold on to God through such wickedness of man!
So, for all our days of "Yes's" & "No's" we proclaim, "Praise!" For the days we hear, "cancer" & the days we hear, "clear", we sing, "Praise!" For the days- all the days- we choose "Praise!" Then, "when we've been there 10,000 years, bright shining as the sun, we've no less days to sing God's praise, than when we first begun!"
Blessings!
Friday, November 6, 2009
CT Scan
The CT Scan results are just in & showing no tumors! God continues in His merciful answers toward Mike & me! The love, support & prayers for us mean more than you can ever, ever know!
Blessings!
Blessings!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
1st Post-Treatment Scan
Please pray that God is wide awake early in the morning for my first 2 post-treatment body scans! :) These tests can determine if any remaining cancer cells are forming tumors in my bones, abdomen, chest or liver. Pray, no tumors! Then, I'll meet with the Oncologist Tuesday for full lab work, port flush & results of the scan. So, pray, people! God is so, so, so faithful! He's been with my family & me every step of the way, so there's NO doubt - at all- that He is still at work for us. He's still loving, molding, shaping, honing, carrying & saving us! Wow! Pray that we're faithful in return!
Blessings!
Blessings!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
2nd Anniversary!
Congratulations to Tyrel & Taylor on this 2nd wedding anniversary! You're the greatest couple & we pray God's blessings on you every day! Love you!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Punkin' Punkin' Punkin'
Here are a couple of pictures Randi posted on her blog of HaHa & Sweets (Mike & me) with Cason & Braden at their first pumpkin carving with their daddy.
Cason named him, "Punkin' Punkin' Punkin'" & loved blowing out the candle as soon as any of us could light it for him. Braden just loved being there!
(Randi took this picture of me with my post-chemo hair! I thought I'd post it since many, many friends don't recognize me at all!) I really do look so different, but funny how hair - long, short, or any color- doesn't make the "worry" list these days!
Time with these little guys, however, is high priority!
Blessings!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Virginia Beach 10K!
Taylor,
This post is for you, my dear! Running your first 10k as I write is amazing & we're proud of you! You can do it! You've trained & prepared & you're ready!
All of us who know you, know your heart & will is what will get you through! Your hubby is cheering (I can hear him from here!!!) He's just as proud as can be of your determination to do this!
Not all 10k's are created equal in matters of the heart & mind. You, sweet daughter, get it done every day! Sure, we're proud of the run, but way more than that, proud of who you are & how you're living!
Go the distance & finish strong!
Blessings!
-Mom
This post is for you, my dear! Running your first 10k as I write is amazing & we're proud of you! You can do it! You've trained & prepared & you're ready!
All of us who know you, know your heart & will is what will get you through! Your hubby is cheering (I can hear him from here!!!) He's just as proud as can be of your determination to do this!
Not all 10k's are created equal in matters of the heart & mind. You, sweet daughter, get it done every day! Sure, we're proud of the run, but way more than that, proud of who you are & how you're living!
Go the distance & finish strong!
Blessings!
-Mom
Monday, October 26, 2009
The Equalizer
It's been said that cancer is the great equalizer. No matter the color of skin, size of paycheck or number of candles on the birthday cake, cancer's not discerning of the next body it attacks. Because of this "equalizing", emotional walls we've built come crumbling down with others who are in the same "cancer boat." I've found that one of the most wide open doors to another person's heart is in a doctor's waiting room, lab or hospital. Maybe I was catching them just before hearing results of a scan, post-surgery, infusion or labs. If my eyes & ears were open to another, emotions would flow from their hearts, to me, a stranger!
I learned from the Lord thru this year to really, really watch & listen to people He put before me. I was sure if I listened to Him, I could be encouraging to other patients as they faced their illnesses. Sure enough, as I was waiting in the ladies' locker room for radiation one day, a lady came in I'd not seen before. She was in her early 50's, about 5 feet tall & very thin. Her face was weathered & worn & her ponytail was windblown from the motorcycle ride she'd made into treatment.
She & I looked different outwardly but shared something far more intimate than outward appearance. We shared cancer. As we sat in that ladies' locker room awaiting radiation, it really didn't matter who we were, where we came from or what we did for a living. It didn't matter how much money we made, who our parents were or what college we attended. We were just two ladies whose lives collided one day.
There is no time to lose in those waiting rooms. There's an acute awareness of time & people & illness. I found out very quickly she had colon cancer. After saying our hello's & determining the kinds of cancer we each had, she stood up & opened her hospital gown to me, revealing her bare, scarred up body. Besides chemo & radiation, she'd had had 24 surgeries in 3 & a half years! Her torso looked like a battle field! It was really unbelievable & incredibly humbling for me to witness such openess from a person I'd not met until moments earlier! For as hard as my journey's been this year, I felt it mild in comparison to her's!
The first thing I did was thank her for trusting me enough to show me her body & scars. As she closed up her gown, I asked her if she knew Jesus. She not only knew Him, but loved & followed Him! She was walking every step of her cancer journey with God & discussed Him openly. She was a strong believer & we had a immediate bond. We had two bonds, actually. The cancer bond & the Lord. The person I thought I'd be encouraging flipped that around in a heartbeat. She lifted my spirits with her great attitude & love for God. Her smile reminded me that God loves all of us. He cares about all people of all colors & walks of life. He saves in all economies.
Ever imagine how colorful heaven will be? I mean all the different people there? I can say with my whole heart, there will be a tattooed, weathered lady I will look up when I get there! She won't be sick anymore & we'll praise our God forever- together- when we have all the time in the world!
Yes, cancer is a great equalizer but it doesn't compare to God's love!
Blessings!
I learned from the Lord thru this year to really, really watch & listen to people He put before me. I was sure if I listened to Him, I could be encouraging to other patients as they faced their illnesses. Sure enough, as I was waiting in the ladies' locker room for radiation one day, a lady came in I'd not seen before. She was in her early 50's, about 5 feet tall & very thin. Her face was weathered & worn & her ponytail was windblown from the motorcycle ride she'd made into treatment.
She & I looked different outwardly but shared something far more intimate than outward appearance. We shared cancer. As we sat in that ladies' locker room awaiting radiation, it really didn't matter who we were, where we came from or what we did for a living. It didn't matter how much money we made, who our parents were or what college we attended. We were just two ladies whose lives collided one day.
There is no time to lose in those waiting rooms. There's an acute awareness of time & people & illness. I found out very quickly she had colon cancer. After saying our hello's & determining the kinds of cancer we each had, she stood up & opened her hospital gown to me, revealing her bare, scarred up body. Besides chemo & radiation, she'd had had 24 surgeries in 3 & a half years! Her torso looked like a battle field! It was really unbelievable & incredibly humbling for me to witness such openess from a person I'd not met until moments earlier! For as hard as my journey's been this year, I felt it mild in comparison to her's!
The first thing I did was thank her for trusting me enough to show me her body & scars. As she closed up her gown, I asked her if she knew Jesus. She not only knew Him, but loved & followed Him! She was walking every step of her cancer journey with God & discussed Him openly. She was a strong believer & we had a immediate bond. We had two bonds, actually. The cancer bond & the Lord. The person I thought I'd be encouraging flipped that around in a heartbeat. She lifted my spirits with her great attitude & love for God. Her smile reminded me that God loves all of us. He cares about all people of all colors & walks of life. He saves in all economies.
Ever imagine how colorful heaven will be? I mean all the different people there? I can say with my whole heart, there will be a tattooed, weathered lady I will look up when I get there! She won't be sick anymore & we'll praise our God forever- together- when we have all the time in the world!
Yes, cancer is a great equalizer but it doesn't compare to God's love!
Blessings!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Status Update
Another note to say, "Thank-you!" for the continued prayer & love support that's generously given to my family & me! Love is an amazing thing to watch in action! You are an amazing people & we are blessed, blessed, blessed!
Radiation was complete mid-September, so now is the time for healing & strength to be renewed. I'm one month into the 6 month "cooling" from radiation & am doing well. The radiation burn is healing nicely & I continue to care for the skin that took the treatment. Radiation damages cancer cells to slow or nullify their ability to reproduce, so it's a tough treatment, for sure! It damages the good cells, too, since it can't differentiate between the two, so it takes the body working hard to recover. That's what this time if for, so I'm doing my best to listen to my body & live a slower pace than I used to.
My heart is much more in tune these days to people who have or have had health issues. Just saw a good friend who had heart surgery months ago, & she's still hurting & dealing with pain & health issues. She looks great & is healing- but that's what I understand now- she's in a long process. Not restored physically as instantly as we tend to want. The body needs time after trauma & we're ones who want it now! Sometimes God brings healing miraculously & sometimes He brings it through medicine & time. Waiting on Him can be difficult & it can also be a great blessing! I'm learning to wait & be patient & listen & trust. I'm also learning to be more tender to others. I pray my heart is incredibly tender to the suffering of others for the rest of my days & not rushing them out of God's timing for my sake or my agenda.
God is still good everyday, all the time! He shows Himself in the most amazing ways & it will be really, really fun in heaven to understand completely just how He worked out all our journeys for our good & entertwined our lives! It's gonna be great to see Him face to face, isn't it? For now, we get to live covered up by His blessings, & eventhough our understanding is limited, we can know we are loved beyond measure!
Blessings!
Radiation was complete mid-September, so now is the time for healing & strength to be renewed. I'm one month into the 6 month "cooling" from radiation & am doing well. The radiation burn is healing nicely & I continue to care for the skin that took the treatment. Radiation damages cancer cells to slow or nullify their ability to reproduce, so it's a tough treatment, for sure! It damages the good cells, too, since it can't differentiate between the two, so it takes the body working hard to recover. That's what this time if for, so I'm doing my best to listen to my body & live a slower pace than I used to.
My heart is much more in tune these days to people who have or have had health issues. Just saw a good friend who had heart surgery months ago, & she's still hurting & dealing with pain & health issues. She looks great & is healing- but that's what I understand now- she's in a long process. Not restored physically as instantly as we tend to want. The body needs time after trauma & we're ones who want it now! Sometimes God brings healing miraculously & sometimes He brings it through medicine & time. Waiting on Him can be difficult & it can also be a great blessing! I'm learning to wait & be patient & listen & trust. I'm also learning to be more tender to others. I pray my heart is incredibly tender to the suffering of others for the rest of my days & not rushing them out of God's timing for my sake or my agenda.
God is still good everyday, all the time! He shows Himself in the most amazing ways & it will be really, really fun in heaven to understand completely just how He worked out all our journeys for our good & entertwined our lives! It's gonna be great to see Him face to face, isn't it? For now, we get to live covered up by His blessings, & eventhough our understanding is limited, we can know we are loved beyond measure!
Blessings!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
That's Too Long!
Years ago there was a Wolf Brand Chili TV commercial that went something like, "How long has it been since you've a hot, steamin' bowl of Wolf Brand Chili?"... the answer came in, "Well, that's too long!" I got to thinking about that catchy TV ad during a recent roadtrip & began to ask myself how long it's been since I've seen God in the day to day events & moments of my life. How long has it been since I've noticed Him & paid attention to His presence? How long has it been that I really looked for Him? When was the last time I heard Him say- for certain- that He loves me all the time? ... "Well, that's too long!"
"How long has it been since I've seen God in the day to day events of life?" To get the answer, I ask myself how long it's been since I've held a sleeping baby, played with a puppy, or watched the sun rise? When was the last time I witnessed the colors of the leaves changing in the fall, or felt the summer raindrops against my face? How long has it been that I looked into a child's eyes, or listened to the slow, steady breathing of my spouse as he lays beside me in the night? How long has it been since I've gotten asway from the city lights & looked up into the night sky to count the stars? How long has it been since I've taken a roadtrip thru the mountains & breathed the crisp mountain air?
What about His love letter to me? How long has it been since I've read it & taken it to heart? How long has it been since I've thanked a friend for their care & kindness? How long has it been since I've really cherished my children? How long has it been since I rejoiced over the empty tomb, or was honored to witness a loved one's wedding vows? How long has it been since I felt real peace that I can't even describe, or shed tears with a friend? How long has it been since I've rolled on the floor in laughtor with a 2-year old? How long has it been that I've suffered a heartfelt loss & realized how deeply I can love?
How long has it been since I've appreciated the creativity of the Creator or witnessed another giving their life to God? How long has it been since I've appreciated the courage of another? How long has it been since I've taken a long look at the cross & tasted the sorrow & love displayed there? How long has it been since I took the time to count the birds at the feeder, or examined the billowing clouds just before a thunderstorm?
How long has it been since I've seen God? Well, that's too long! He's in it all! "All in All, Beginning & End, I AM."
Everyday, every life!
Blessings!
"How long has it been since I've seen God in the day to day events of life?" To get the answer, I ask myself how long it's been since I've held a sleeping baby, played with a puppy, or watched the sun rise? When was the last time I witnessed the colors of the leaves changing in the fall, or felt the summer raindrops against my face? How long has it been that I looked into a child's eyes, or listened to the slow, steady breathing of my spouse as he lays beside me in the night? How long has it been since I've gotten asway from the city lights & looked up into the night sky to count the stars? How long has it been since I've taken a roadtrip thru the mountains & breathed the crisp mountain air?
What about His love letter to me? How long has it been since I've read it & taken it to heart? How long has it been since I've thanked a friend for their care & kindness? How long has it been since I've really cherished my children? How long has it been since I rejoiced over the empty tomb, or was honored to witness a loved one's wedding vows? How long has it been since I felt real peace that I can't even describe, or shed tears with a friend? How long has it been since I've rolled on the floor in laughtor with a 2-year old? How long has it been that I've suffered a heartfelt loss & realized how deeply I can love?
How long has it been since I've appreciated the creativity of the Creator or witnessed another giving their life to God? How long has it been since I've appreciated the courage of another? How long has it been since I've taken a long look at the cross & tasted the sorrow & love displayed there? How long has it been since I took the time to count the birds at the feeder, or examined the billowing clouds just before a thunderstorm?
How long has it been since I've seen God? Well, that's too long! He's in it all! "All in All, Beginning & End, I AM."
Everyday, every life!
Blessings!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Mercy Me!
One thing I know for certain is that the Word of God never grows old. It's relevant on every level to every person for all generations. God created & designed me, so it makes sense that He knows me thru & thru & knows what will give me joy & what will bring heartache. He's always working for me & hoping with all His heart, I will choose Him!
There's a story Jesus tells in Luke (one of the gospels in the New Testament) about the separation of a father & son. We call it, "The Prodigal Son". One of a man's sons demands his future inheritance from his father & goes far from home spending his money in destructive ways. Once the money is gone, so are the "friends". He has no choice but to return to his father & beg to be taken in as a servant or he'll die.
One of the most beautiful scenes Jesus described in this story is that the father is standing on the porch hoping, with all his might, that his son would return home. He stood on that porch & watched for his son everyday just hoping that would be the one! He would not give up on him- ever! The day finally comes & he sees his son on the horizon making the long trip home. Jesus tells us the fahter starts running toward his son. He can't wait, he just cannot wait to hold & kiss his child! He cannot help but open his arms wide & is compelled to hold him in the biggest bear hug ever invented! Will he take him back as a servant into his household? NO! He will ONLY take him back as a son, his rightful place as a full member of the family!
After the father hugs, kisses & gives him a family ring, he throws his son a party! He leaves no detail undone, because this party is all out! The best calf he has, that's been fattened just for partying, is prepared in honor of his son. He invites all family & friends to this reunion because they HAVE to share in this kind of joy! Don't be mistaken, this was a party! Music, dancing & shouting! Tears of joy were shared by loved ones at this party, as well as high pitched shouts of joy when each person laid eyes on him for the first time in a long time! The dad held nothing back! No expense was spared! His son had been lost & away from him & now was back! He's where he belonged! He's home!
Jesus tells us the older brother was not much in the partying mood, though. He was jealous & angry that his dad would make such a big deal over his brother coming home when he'd been the faithful one all along. He'd been working all these years on the family land & really didn't believe his younger brother deserved to share in this family status, anymore. Wow! Family dynamics can be a kick in the pants, right? Complicated, for sure!
The most beautiful part of this story is that of mercy. The dad was compelled to extend mercy at the same time he extended those open arms to his boy! Mercy was the theme of the day! Mercy says that status into the family is sure. It's forever. Mercy makes no sense- that's why it's mercy! That's why it's NOT "the third degree". That's why it's NOT "earning" back one's place! Mercy is NOT "pointing the finger." It's MERCY!
The oldest brother got his dad's mercy, too! He didn't lose the love of this man. He didn't lose his family. He needed mercy to understand it all & that's what he got. It's not anything either of these boys deserved! It's not anything I deserve! But, it's sweet! It's MERCY!
Yes, mercy is not what I'm owed, but it's what I WANT! It's what I NEED! It's the ONLY way for me to be in the Family! My sweet, sweet Father has extended His open arms & covered me in mercy! What a story Jesus told! What a picture He's painted for me to see!
Jesus, thank you for telling this story! Thank you that the dad in this story reflects my Dad in heaven! Thank you, that You always greet me with open arms! Thank you, for the party You constantly throw for me! Thank you, thank you, thank you for MERCY!
*Special thanks to Rick A for your teaching & focus on God's Word! Special thanks for "The Good, The Bad & The Ugly".
Blessings!
There's a story Jesus tells in Luke (one of the gospels in the New Testament) about the separation of a father & son. We call it, "The Prodigal Son". One of a man's sons demands his future inheritance from his father & goes far from home spending his money in destructive ways. Once the money is gone, so are the "friends". He has no choice but to return to his father & beg to be taken in as a servant or he'll die.
One of the most beautiful scenes Jesus described in this story is that the father is standing on the porch hoping, with all his might, that his son would return home. He stood on that porch & watched for his son everyday just hoping that would be the one! He would not give up on him- ever! The day finally comes & he sees his son on the horizon making the long trip home. Jesus tells us the fahter starts running toward his son. He can't wait, he just cannot wait to hold & kiss his child! He cannot help but open his arms wide & is compelled to hold him in the biggest bear hug ever invented! Will he take him back as a servant into his household? NO! He will ONLY take him back as a son, his rightful place as a full member of the family!
After the father hugs, kisses & gives him a family ring, he throws his son a party! He leaves no detail undone, because this party is all out! The best calf he has, that's been fattened just for partying, is prepared in honor of his son. He invites all family & friends to this reunion because they HAVE to share in this kind of joy! Don't be mistaken, this was a party! Music, dancing & shouting! Tears of joy were shared by loved ones at this party, as well as high pitched shouts of joy when each person laid eyes on him for the first time in a long time! The dad held nothing back! No expense was spared! His son had been lost & away from him & now was back! He's where he belonged! He's home!
Jesus tells us the older brother was not much in the partying mood, though. He was jealous & angry that his dad would make such a big deal over his brother coming home when he'd been the faithful one all along. He'd been working all these years on the family land & really didn't believe his younger brother deserved to share in this family status, anymore. Wow! Family dynamics can be a kick in the pants, right? Complicated, for sure!
The most beautiful part of this story is that of mercy. The dad was compelled to extend mercy at the same time he extended those open arms to his boy! Mercy was the theme of the day! Mercy says that status into the family is sure. It's forever. Mercy makes no sense- that's why it's mercy! That's why it's NOT "the third degree". That's why it's NOT "earning" back one's place! Mercy is NOT "pointing the finger." It's MERCY!
The oldest brother got his dad's mercy, too! He didn't lose the love of this man. He didn't lose his family. He needed mercy to understand it all & that's what he got. It's not anything either of these boys deserved! It's not anything I deserve! But, it's sweet! It's MERCY!
Yes, mercy is not what I'm owed, but it's what I WANT! It's what I NEED! It's the ONLY way for me to be in the Family! My sweet, sweet Father has extended His open arms & covered me in mercy! What a story Jesus told! What a picture He's painted for me to see!
Jesus, thank you for telling this story! Thank you that the dad in this story reflects my Dad in heaven! Thank you, that You always greet me with open arms! Thank you, for the party You constantly throw for me! Thank you, thank you, thank you for MERCY!
*Special thanks to Rick A for your teaching & focus on God's Word! Special thanks for "The Good, The Bad & The Ugly".
Blessings!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Breast Cancer Awareness Month
It will be a great day when cancer is a thing of the past! October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month & the pink ribbons are all around! So thankful for the research & study going on to get rid of this terrible disease! I've learned this year that the many kinds of cancer are all represented by particular colors. Peach for Uterine Cancer, pink for Breast Cancer, teal for Ovarian Cancer, dark blue for Colon Cancer, white for Lung Cancer, black for Skin Cancer, lavender for All Cancers & turquiose for Lymphedema Awareness.
I pray no one else gets cancer. I pray cancer is only read about in history books by my grandsons. I pray families can go their whole lives & not endure this disease. But, most of all I pray that anyone & everyone that is effected by any kind of cancer runs to Jesus thru it all! I pray women who hear the words, "You have breast cancer" won't even consider facing it alone! I pray families will completely lean on Jesus as they care for loved ones with cancer. I pray Jesus is the answer for each precious person. That's why He came to earth. To be the answer. He died & was raised from the dead for me & every person for all time. He's the answer in the midst of all the questions about cancer. He's my answer & my family's answer. Until cancer is gone for good & then beyond, Jesus will always be the only answer.
Blessings!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Quick Update
I've not posted in a couple of weeks, not because I have nothing on my heart, but because I have so much! There's so much on my mind & heart & God has been so busy with me! Teaching me, growing me, protecting me... I'm going to post some things soon- when it slows down to a mild spin in my head!
I'm doing really well considering everything my body has been through. I'm so thankful & my family is so thankful for all the blessings of 2009.
I'm going to continue journaling this journey with it's ups & downs, and hopefully, God will be always be glorified. Simply, because He deserves it!
Blessings!
I'm doing really well considering everything my body has been through. I'm so thankful & my family is so thankful for all the blessings of 2009.
I'm going to continue journaling this journey with it's ups & downs, and hopefully, God will be always be glorified. Simply, because He deserves it!
Blessings!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Radiation in the Rear View Mirror!
That's right! May sound like the title of a country song, but radiation treatment is now a thing of the past in this journey! #25 was Friday & we're so thankful! Thank you, Lord, for seeing us thru & answering "YES!" over & over & over! We're forever grateful to an incredibly loving & powerful Father! We're forever grateful for a loving & supportive family! We're forever grateful for believing, loving & supportive friends! And, we're forever grateful to dedicated & knowledgable medical staff! We are most blessed & we know it! We don't take one of these blessings for granted as God & loved ones are the reasons we've gotten this far!
When Mike & I learned the whole schedule of treatment back in February (as I was healing from a hysterectomy that was unrelated to cancer), we broke the treatment down into 4 parts, in our minds, in order to more easily "digest" it all. The smaller increments were more palitable & easier to get our minds around. As each part of treatment was faced & completed, we felt success & bits of encouragment. Now, all 4 parts of treatment are done! WOW!
Treatments are done & the healing journey begins. Radiation has burned my skin & it's beginning to peel, so it feels like a sunburn. There are presciption ointments I use to care for the skin as best as possible because radiation really ruins the skin to a great degree. There have been no blisters, so I'm thankful for that. It's diffucult to wear certain clothes right now, because of my skin, but that will only be for a few more weeks. The potency of chemo & radiation connot be underestimated. These treatments make their impact known, so it will take some time to feel "normal" again... but, I'm on my way to that day!
"Radiation in the Rear View Mirror" is a song I'll sing every day!
Blessings!
When Mike & I learned the whole schedule of treatment back in February (as I was healing from a hysterectomy that was unrelated to cancer), we broke the treatment down into 4 parts, in our minds, in order to more easily "digest" it all. The smaller increments were more palitable & easier to get our minds around. As each part of treatment was faced & completed, we felt success & bits of encouragment. Now, all 4 parts of treatment are done! WOW!
Treatments are done & the healing journey begins. Radiation has burned my skin & it's beginning to peel, so it feels like a sunburn. There are presciption ointments I use to care for the skin as best as possible because radiation really ruins the skin to a great degree. There have been no blisters, so I'm thankful for that. It's diffucult to wear certain clothes right now, because of my skin, but that will only be for a few more weeks. The potency of chemo & radiation connot be underestimated. These treatments make their impact known, so it will take some time to feel "normal" again... but, I'm on my way to that day!
"Radiation in the Rear View Mirror" is a song I'll sing every day!
Blessings!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Radiation #22!
Radiaiton #22 completed! There are 3 more & I'm thankful to be nearly done! My body needs several months to recover from radiation & to regain some stamina. I'm also burned a bit from treatments, but no blistering, so that's a blessing. Doctors give a 6-month "cooling" period before going forward with the additional surgeries, so those will not be until the spring of next year. A huge continued thanks for your love, prayers & suppport! God is always faithful!
Blessings!
Blessings!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Really Living & Being Ready
This cancer thing- it just brings a lot of people together who would otherwise never cross paths. It's been interesting to see the ones God has put before me. He's given me J from nearly the beginning. She & I have built a friendship over the last 6 months & I'm grateful. God's also crossed my path with "one-timers." Those I won't see again, but at least, was given one opportunity to speak a word of encouragement or extend a warm smile on a difficult day.
The last few weeks, I've been blessed to meet some new ladies through radiation as we sit in the "locker" room waiting for treatment. One lady in particular has been on my heart. She's 20 years my senior with the sweetest disposition. Through these weeks, she's grown to trust me & has shared with me that she is near the end of her medical journey. The breast cancer has returned a 3rd time, & now is extensively in her bones & spine & this is the last radiation for her. There is little left the medical community can offer her except pain management & those conversations with doctors will be forthcoming soon.
You'd think our conversations about death & dying would be gloomy & depressing, but they're really not. They're sweet & hopeful. Thoughtful & reflective. She needs a listening ear because her family is not quite ready to accept her physical realities. Sometimes a "stranger" like me can be a pretty good listening ear. You see, she's a believer & knows God can step in & save the day at any time. She also knows He's getting her ready for heaven & she's planning the way she's living out her life. She's cleaning out closets & getting her house in order for her family. Not in a desperate way, but a loving way. She's thankful for the years God has given her & is just so graceful in her manner! She & I pray we have the grace to walk our life's journeys the way He intends for us. The number of those days is really of no consequence, only that each one is spent living.
I don't know how many days, weeks or years God has planned for me here, but I will live them all! I will love the ones He loves & depend completely on His grace to save me. I want my life to be a love response to Him for my salvation & be ready to go to heaven. Sure, I don't want to dwell on death all the time, but living with a readiness to meet Jesus face to face - that's really living!
The last few weeks, I've been blessed to meet some new ladies through radiation as we sit in the "locker" room waiting for treatment. One lady in particular has been on my heart. She's 20 years my senior with the sweetest disposition. Through these weeks, she's grown to trust me & has shared with me that she is near the end of her medical journey. The breast cancer has returned a 3rd time, & now is extensively in her bones & spine & this is the last radiation for her. There is little left the medical community can offer her except pain management & those conversations with doctors will be forthcoming soon.
You'd think our conversations about death & dying would be gloomy & depressing, but they're really not. They're sweet & hopeful. Thoughtful & reflective. She needs a listening ear because her family is not quite ready to accept her physical realities. Sometimes a "stranger" like me can be a pretty good listening ear. You see, she's a believer & knows God can step in & save the day at any time. She also knows He's getting her ready for heaven & she's planning the way she's living out her life. She's cleaning out closets & getting her house in order for her family. Not in a desperate way, but a loving way. She's thankful for the years God has given her & is just so graceful in her manner! She & I pray we have the grace to walk our life's journeys the way He intends for us. The number of those days is really of no consequence, only that each one is spent living.
I don't know how many days, weeks or years God has planned for me here, but I will live them all! I will love the ones He loves & depend completely on His grace to save me. I want my life to be a love response to Him for my salvation & be ready to go to heaven. Sure, I don't want to dwell on death all the time, but living with a readiness to meet Jesus face to face - that's really living!
Blessings!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Quick Update- #17
Finished radiation #17 today & the doctor is still pleased with the condition of my skin (thank you, Lord!) Some of the first signs of burning the doctor saw today are reactions to the radiation & actually the results of childhood sunshine - back before we used sunscreen or even knew what it was. Back in the day when we used baby oil on our skin to lay out for those golden brown tans! (All us Texas girls did that!) No big deal, just the aftermath of growing up in the sunshine! Doctor said it's the V-shaped neckline that shows up first. Just an interesting detail, I think.
I got really tired the end of last week & weekend. The doctor said that's to be expected. So, as much as I want to be up & going full-steam, it's just not going to happen right now. I can feel pretty good one day & be exhausted the next. Patience & pacing myself is still a must. Chemo will be in my system for 12 to 18 more months & still causes some aches & pains & radiation adds to the fatigue, so the journey continues. Eventhough radiation is difficult, it's more tolerable than chemo, for me. I'm still not even close to my "normal self" by any means, but all in all, I'm doing really well, all things considered.
God still answers prayers! He consistently loves! He never grows weary!
Blessings!
I got really tired the end of last week & weekend. The doctor said that's to be expected. So, as much as I want to be up & going full-steam, it's just not going to happen right now. I can feel pretty good one day & be exhausted the next. Patience & pacing myself is still a must. Chemo will be in my system for 12 to 18 more months & still causes some aches & pains & radiation adds to the fatigue, so the journey continues. Eventhough radiation is difficult, it's more tolerable than chemo, for me. I'm still not even close to my "normal self" by any means, but all in all, I'm doing really well, all things considered.
God still answers prayers! He consistently loves! He never grows weary!
Blessings!
Friday, August 28, 2009
#16 Radiation Today
Quick update that radiation #16 is today. The hospital had trouble with the machinery yesterday & sent me on home instead of being able to complete the session. It turned out to be a blessing for me to get some rest. The radiation damages the good cells along with the bad, so fatigue comes until the body can rebuild the good cells. I'm a bit tired & have to pace myself throughout the day & Mike lets me just rest in the evenings by fixing dinner, cleaning up, etc. So, I'm still pretty much the spoiled Diva! LOL!
Continued thanks for all the prayers & support. We're blessed by you!
Blessings!
Continued thanks for all the prayers & support. We're blessed by you!
Blessings!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
All Scarred Up... in Victory!
7 new scars & 3 tiny tattoos have made their mark on my body now that I've had 3 surgeries & radiation this year. There will be more surgeries to come & these scars will be with me the rest of my life. I'm choosing to look at these scars as reminders of the "battles" of physical wellness instead of illness. Of strength instead of weakness. But, nevertheless, I'm all scarred up.
Got to thinking about these scars this week because I look at them everyday. I realize there are other kind of scars, too. Scars of the heart. These are not nearly as easily defined but just as real as the outward bodily ones. Several people I love have reminded me this week about how painful scars of the heart can be. The old saying, "Sticks & stones my break my bones but words can never hurt me," is just not true! Words can hurt! They can be as sharp as a knife & leave painful scars! The way we talk to each other can cut deeply & leave wounds that may take a long, long time to heal. Husbands & wives, parents & children, families, co-workers, friends, neighbors & even strangers all have the ability to heal or hurt with words.
So, what happens with all the scars? Medicines with vitamins can help heal the body's scars. They remain visible, but usually cease to be painful. We're fearfully & wonderfully made by an incredibly creative God who designed the body to heal! I'm thankful these bodies of ours can & do heal! I'm even more thankful the scars on our hearts can heal, too. The Holy Spirit comforts & heals us from within- when we let Him.
When Jesus rose from the dead, he chose to keep the physical scars of the cross! Wow! He could have been completely whole, but the scars remained. Maybe He kept them just for Thomas & the ones who would need proof it was Him. I think He looked at His scars & knew they meant victory!
Bodily scars can be reminders of wellness! They don't have to be hurtful, but can mean victory! Same is true of our hearts. God heals the hurts & can use the scars to remind us of His love, which is victory over the things of this 'ole world.
Sure, I'm all scarred up. I need healing & victory & know just the God to give it!
Blessings!
Got to thinking about these scars this week because I look at them everyday. I realize there are other kind of scars, too. Scars of the heart. These are not nearly as easily defined but just as real as the outward bodily ones. Several people I love have reminded me this week about how painful scars of the heart can be. The old saying, "Sticks & stones my break my bones but words can never hurt me," is just not true! Words can hurt! They can be as sharp as a knife & leave painful scars! The way we talk to each other can cut deeply & leave wounds that may take a long, long time to heal. Husbands & wives, parents & children, families, co-workers, friends, neighbors & even strangers all have the ability to heal or hurt with words.
So, what happens with all the scars? Medicines with vitamins can help heal the body's scars. They remain visible, but usually cease to be painful. We're fearfully & wonderfully made by an incredibly creative God who designed the body to heal! I'm thankful these bodies of ours can & do heal! I'm even more thankful the scars on our hearts can heal, too. The Holy Spirit comforts & heals us from within- when we let Him.
When Jesus rose from the dead, he chose to keep the physical scars of the cross! Wow! He could have been completely whole, but the scars remained. Maybe He kept them just for Thomas & the ones who would need proof it was Him. I think He looked at His scars & knew they meant victory!
Bodily scars can be reminders of wellness! They don't have to be hurtful, but can mean victory! Same is true of our hearts. God heals the hurts & can use the scars to remind us of His love, which is victory over the things of this 'ole world.
Sure, I'm all scarred up. I need healing & victory & know just the God to give it!
Blessings!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Radiation #9- Update
Just a quick update... #9 of 25 done today & all is well. The Radiation Oncologist is happy with the way my skin is responding, so, thank you for your prayers & thank you, Lord, for answering! Treatments continue Monday thru Friday, so this schedule will take me thru mid-September. Please keep praying God's protection of me against fatigue & burn & that this treatment will damage any & all remaining cancer cells so they cannot reproduce.
I continue to be blessed by meeting people who are bald & "glowing" just like me! LOL! The main thing is that we ALL need the Lord - no matter what our life situation. We all matter to God!
Blessings!
I continue to be blessed by meeting people who are bald & "glowing" just like me! LOL! The main thing is that we ALL need the Lord - no matter what our life situation. We all matter to God!
Blessings!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
By Myself... But, Not Alone!
Years ago Mike & I took a Singles church group backpacking each summer & it was always great fun. (I've written about it before.) One summer we decided to take a few days & just the 2 of us make a trek. It was a different dynamic to have only each other to depend on up in those vast mountains of Colorado. We followed the trail way up in the mountains, & on the 2nd day it ran out. Just stopped. The mountains are vast & we felt incredibly insignificant in comparison. Mike read the map & knew the direction we were to go, so off we went without a trail (we don't ever recommend this!) We knew where we were & had plenty of supplies, but went about 3 days without seeing another soul. Not another hiker- no one. It's fine for a while, then it can get creepy because the mountains are so huge & seeing people & just knowing they were around would've brought such comfort.
Just recently Taylor was here off & on for a month to help care for me & brought her 2 dogs with her, so I enjoyed having the added activity around. Both dogs just love to be loved, made us laugh & followed Taylor everywhere she went. Lexie & Ruger just wanted to be around people & each other. They're very social & just don't like to be alone for very long if there are people around, even if it means laying around at our feet. They are great company to Taylor & I'm very thankful she has her "buddies" with her always. Watching their interaction with all of us & each other is sometimes not all that different than what I want. There's a lot of comfort in being near to someone... even if it's quiet... it's the presence that means the most, not only the words.
Got to thinking the other day just how much having cancer has forced me to be by myself. All the scans, labs & radiation treatments are especially a one-person event since the dressing room is for women patients only & no one can be in the room for actual radiation for obvious reasons. It's taking me about 40 minutes for each treatment after I drive to the hospital. Changing clothes, waiting, all the exact positioning & shooting each precise angle all take some time & I'm by myself most of that time. But, I'm never alone. Sound crazy? Maybe so, but it's true.
Psalms 145:18 says, "The Lord is close to all who call on Him. Yes, to all who call on Him sincerely." This means so much to me because I'm NEVER alone in any of the treatments. I mean, NEVER. He promises His presence at all times. This is an amazing promise & commitment to me! It takes a lot of love to always be present in another's life. And, He does it. The peace & comfort He brings into my life is an amazing gift & one I'll not take for granted anymore. So, as I teach my grandsons that God is always there & He's always with them, it is no myth. It's true. Sometimes, many times, we have to live life events by ourselves, but Believers are never alone!
Blessings!
Just recently Taylor was here off & on for a month to help care for me & brought her 2 dogs with her, so I enjoyed having the added activity around. Both dogs just love to be loved, made us laugh & followed Taylor everywhere she went. Lexie & Ruger just wanted to be around people & each other. They're very social & just don't like to be alone for very long if there are people around, even if it means laying around at our feet. They are great company to Taylor & I'm very thankful she has her "buddies" with her always. Watching their interaction with all of us & each other is sometimes not all that different than what I want. There's a lot of comfort in being near to someone... even if it's quiet... it's the presence that means the most, not only the words.
Got to thinking the other day just how much having cancer has forced me to be by myself. All the scans, labs & radiation treatments are especially a one-person event since the dressing room is for women patients only & no one can be in the room for actual radiation for obvious reasons. It's taking me about 40 minutes for each treatment after I drive to the hospital. Changing clothes, waiting, all the exact positioning & shooting each precise angle all take some time & I'm by myself most of that time. But, I'm never alone. Sound crazy? Maybe so, but it's true.
Psalms 145:18 says, "The Lord is close to all who call on Him. Yes, to all who call on Him sincerely." This means so much to me because I'm NEVER alone in any of the treatments. I mean, NEVER. He promises His presence at all times. This is an amazing promise & commitment to me! It takes a lot of love to always be present in another's life. And, He does it. The peace & comfort He brings into my life is an amazing gift & one I'll not take for granted anymore. So, as I teach my grandsons that God is always there & He's always with them, it is no myth. It's true. Sometimes, many times, we have to live life events by ourselves, but Believers are never alone!
Blessings!
Friday, August 14, 2009
So Far, So Great!
Today is radiation #7 of 25 & all is well! I've gone to work 3 to 4 hours each day before radiation & it's Friday & I'm still up & going! Yea! I also am seeing the surgeon twice a week right now for some post-op stuff going on, so pray my body will co-operate soon so these visits can come off the calendar. God continues to out-do Himself in taking care of my family & me! What can I say? He's just good every day!
Pray God will keep protecting me from high fatigue & burning. These are the 2 side-effects that will be most likely to effect me, so God's protection is so important! I'm blue-eyed & fair-skinned, so "sun-burning" is a concern of the doctors. The Radiation-Onocologist looks at me every Monday to give the "go" for another week. If she determines I'm too burned, she'll stop the treatments for a week to give time for some recovery before continuing. Also, since the area of the left breast is over the heart & partial lung, pray these vital organs are protected through all the treatments. Mike & I continue to feel blessed with this medical team (remember that was one of God's answers to us early on- 6 months ago now!) We trust their judgement & trust God more! We're in good hands!
Thank you a million times for praying for the Washburns, Freebys & Johnsons! We rely so heavily on your love, support & prayers! God is faithful in showing us daily He's listened all these months & has answered in powerful ways for us! Thank you!
Blessings!
Pray God will keep protecting me from high fatigue & burning. These are the 2 side-effects that will be most likely to effect me, so God's protection is so important! I'm blue-eyed & fair-skinned, so "sun-burning" is a concern of the doctors. The Radiation-Onocologist looks at me every Monday to give the "go" for another week. If she determines I'm too burned, she'll stop the treatments for a week to give time for some recovery before continuing. Also, since the area of the left breast is over the heart & partial lung, pray these vital organs are protected through all the treatments. Mike & I continue to feel blessed with this medical team (remember that was one of God's answers to us early on- 6 months ago now!) We trust their judgement & trust God more! We're in good hands!
Thank you a million times for praying for the Washburns, Freebys & Johnsons! We rely so heavily on your love, support & prayers! God is faithful in showing us daily He's listened all these months & has answered in powerful ways for us! Thank you!
Blessings!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
25 Years Blessed!
Okay- Mike & I admit it- we're the most blessed people in the world! We know & love a lot of people & that's what life is all about... people. 25 years with the Richland Hills Church of Christ is icing on the cake of life! Best church in the world with the most loving & caring people who love the Lord with everything they've got! What's amazing, too, is there's room for more! So much love to go around, & the Lord always has His arms wide open!
Wednesday night, Mike shared his heart with this church by reading a letter on his heart that he felt Jesus would be saying to him. The letter written on his heart- on our hearts- are the people in our lives. The people God has put in our lives... Mike read from II Cor 3:2-3, where Paul says, " You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known & read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, not written with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." God's word is powerful & true. It's all about people & God's saving grace!
We do love you, RHCC! Believe us when we say, we're the blessed ones! We're the fortunate! We're the stronger! We're the ones humbled! We're the blessed recipients of your love & God's amazing grace!
Blessings!
Wednesday night, Mike shared his heart with this church by reading a letter on his heart that he felt Jesus would be saying to him. The letter written on his heart- on our hearts- are the people in our lives. The people God has put in our lives... Mike read from II Cor 3:2-3, where Paul says, " You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known & read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, not written with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts." God's word is powerful & true. It's all about people & God's saving grace!
We do love you, RHCC! Believe us when we say, we're the blessed ones! We're the fortunate! We're the stronger! We're the ones humbled! We're the blessed recipients of your love & God's amazing grace!
Blessings!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Bring on Normal- Bring on Mundane!
Got the "go" from the Surgeon for Radiation to begin- so it's next. Much more to it than I ever imagined (like everything about cancer & treatment)! First treatment is Thursday after Similation on Wednesday. Whew! Pray God protects me from fatigue & burning. These are the 2 side-effects I dread the most & know He'll be with me no matter what the treatment brings my way. Thank Him for such medical knowledge these days!
This last week I've enjoyed feeling better & better since chemo is becoming more of the past. I've enjoyed more the daily routine of life. This may sound insignificant but it means the world to me. The "normal" & "mundane" daily comings & goings of life... the ones that are so many times taken for granted, mean more than ever right now! Getting out of bed, getting dressed for the day, breakfast, errands (still for me it's doctor's appts- LOL!), cooking a meal, putting a load of laundry in the washer, etc. I went to the grocery store alone for the first time in months. I was tired afterward, but nothing like during chemo, so am so very thankful!
I think I enjoy the mundane because it's just so simple. Sure, it's fun to make the big memories- the big parties & events with lots of family & friends... but the day to day is the thread through it all. It's the quiet times, the chores that contribute to the family's well-being. It's the thoughtful, small things that have to be done & bring us together as a family. I love a quiet Saturday morning with Mike & a hot cup of coffee (chemo took that taste away but I hope it returns someday- for now it's a glass of milk for me while Mike has the coffee!) Having the fresh strawberries ready for Cason or holding Braden when they come over to visit- things like that just make me smile.
All the little things add up to pure joy when I remember they're all done with & for those I love the most. So, bring on "normal" & bring on "mundane"! Thank you, Lord, for these things!
Blessings!
This last week I've enjoyed feeling better & better since chemo is becoming more of the past. I've enjoyed more the daily routine of life. This may sound insignificant but it means the world to me. The "normal" & "mundane" daily comings & goings of life... the ones that are so many times taken for granted, mean more than ever right now! Getting out of bed, getting dressed for the day, breakfast, errands (still for me it's doctor's appts- LOL!), cooking a meal, putting a load of laundry in the washer, etc. I went to the grocery store alone for the first time in months. I was tired afterward, but nothing like during chemo, so am so very thankful!
I think I enjoy the mundane because it's just so simple. Sure, it's fun to make the big memories- the big parties & events with lots of family & friends... but the day to day is the thread through it all. It's the quiet times, the chores that contribute to the family's well-being. It's the thoughtful, small things that have to be done & bring us together as a family. I love a quiet Saturday morning with Mike & a hot cup of coffee (chemo took that taste away but I hope it returns someday- for now it's a glass of milk for me while Mike has the coffee!) Having the fresh strawberries ready for Cason or holding Braden when they come over to visit- things like that just make me smile.
All the little things add up to pure joy when I remember they're all done with & for those I love the most. So, bring on "normal" & bring on "mundane"! Thank you, Lord, for these things!
Blessings!
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
It Can Be Done!
*The following post was submitted to Paul Aslin for his blog as he trains for a half Ironman & raises money for Lance Armstrong's "Livestrong Foundation." Please see his blog www.paulaslin.blogspot.com for information to contribute to this great cause.
Shock! That's the only word that comes to mind when I heard I had cancer 6 months ago. I had no history of breast cancer in my family, am a non-smoker, had children before I was 30 & got a "clean" mamogram & sonogram only 5 weeks prior to discovering the golf-ball sized knot under my left arm! I had done everything right- in my mind- & still heard those dreaded words!
Not only did I have breast cancer, but it was fast growing & aggressive with only one medical regiment of treatment available. Even as my head was spinning with doctor appointments, scans & test results, the chemotherapy began. 8 rounds over 16 weeks. 4 months of intense, aggressive medications to fight a mean, aggressive cancer wanting to take my life!
Chemo is now done for me, as well as a mastectomy, but the journey still isn't complete. 5 weeks of radiation will begin next week & breast reconstruction surgeries will be in the spring of next year. Cancer- any cancer- is a long, daunting journey for the patient & their loved ones. Not one easy thing about facing cancer- but- IT CAN BE DONE!
*It can be done... with faith. I chose & still choose to walk this journey with God. He's the source of all strength, love & hope. He's on my side & I want Him close to me every step of the way. His peace is the peace I need! My family & I are stronger & closer through this journey because God is our refuge, protector & strength.
*It can be done... with love. I chose & still choose to surround myself with people I love & who love me. My husband & family are my anchor of support. Friends have constantly encouraged & supported us. Love is the best medicine ever!
*It can be done... with determination. I chose & still choose to think positively, to focus & do what I can to aid medical healing & count the blessings in the middle of this terrible circumstance. For there are always blessings in the midst of trouble.
Yes, this journey can be done! Facing cancer can be done one moment, one hour & one day at a time! With faith, love & determination, anything is possible!
Blessings!
Sharon
Shock! That's the only word that comes to mind when I heard I had cancer 6 months ago. I had no history of breast cancer in my family, am a non-smoker, had children before I was 30 & got a "clean" mamogram & sonogram only 5 weeks prior to discovering the golf-ball sized knot under my left arm! I had done everything right- in my mind- & still heard those dreaded words!
Not only did I have breast cancer, but it was fast growing & aggressive with only one medical regiment of treatment available. Even as my head was spinning with doctor appointments, scans & test results, the chemotherapy began. 8 rounds over 16 weeks. 4 months of intense, aggressive medications to fight a mean, aggressive cancer wanting to take my life!
Chemo is now done for me, as well as a mastectomy, but the journey still isn't complete. 5 weeks of radiation will begin next week & breast reconstruction surgeries will be in the spring of next year. Cancer- any cancer- is a long, daunting journey for the patient & their loved ones. Not one easy thing about facing cancer- but- IT CAN BE DONE!
*It can be done... with faith. I chose & still choose to walk this journey with God. He's the source of all strength, love & hope. He's on my side & I want Him close to me every step of the way. His peace is the peace I need! My family & I are stronger & closer through this journey because God is our refuge, protector & strength.
*It can be done... with love. I chose & still choose to surround myself with people I love & who love me. My husband & family are my anchor of support. Friends have constantly encouraged & supported us. Love is the best medicine ever!
*It can be done... with determination. I chose & still choose to think positively, to focus & do what I can to aid medical healing & count the blessings in the middle of this terrible circumstance. For there are always blessings in the midst of trouble.
Yes, this journey can be done! Facing cancer can be done one moment, one hour & one day at a time! With faith, love & determination, anything is possible!
Blessings!
Sharon
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Thank you, Lord!
Looks like God has given me another beautiful sunrise & day to live! He's good- even when I don't always recognize it. He carries me even when I don't notice. He loves unconditionally, even when I struggle. So, thank you, Lord! Thank you!
This post may be a bit "here & there" as my mind is wanting to cover several subjects. So, I apologize in advance if it seems "all over the board."
1) 2 weeks out of surgery & I'm doing well. I've done the exercies for range of motion but haven't been able to lift with my left arm, yet, meaning I can't hold Baby B! But, I'm working towards that every day! (This is really torture for Sweets! LOL!) Takes 4 to 6 weeks to really recover from this, but I was able to go to church last night & LOVED it! Each day I'm a bit stronger from the surgery & so thankful everyone around me has done all the lifting, carrying & doing on my behalf.
2) Yes, I was done with chemo the middle of June, but it wasn't done with me! Doctor has told me it will be months before I've got my old self back regarding energy & stamina. I still take the pain meds for swollen joints which manages the achiness, so, another thanks! The first half of the day is proving to be more normal now, but by the the early evening, I'm pretty much- done. The stamina just isn't there, yet. My body has been through so much this year that I must stay patient about it. I wouldn't be honest if I said this was easy, but it's getting better & I see progress, so it's encouraging!
3) I lost the hair on my head months & months ago (within 2 weeks of the first chemo back in March) but didn't lose my eyebrows & eyelashes until after round #8 in June. (Just a funny tidbit of info about this whole thing.) My hair has started growing back & is a bit fuzzy at the moment. I haven't minded being bald, really, accept that it's awfully cold!
4) The CT Marking was last Friday. (Yes, I got 3 tattoos! LOL!) This is an essential step in getting radiation right as it shows the exact spots to grid my body for the treatments. I go back in next week for a "dry run", then will begin treatments Monday, August 3rd. The Radiation Oncologist has assigned me 25 treatments (each weekday over 5 weeks). Please pray the fatigue & "sunburn" are minimal for me. Fair skin like mine doesn't fair well, at times, with radiation. But, we all know when God is in the mix, all bets are off!
Thank you a million times over for your prayers for my family & me.
Blessings!
This post may be a bit "here & there" as my mind is wanting to cover several subjects. So, I apologize in advance if it seems "all over the board."
1) 2 weeks out of surgery & I'm doing well. I've done the exercies for range of motion but haven't been able to lift with my left arm, yet, meaning I can't hold Baby B! But, I'm working towards that every day! (This is really torture for Sweets! LOL!) Takes 4 to 6 weeks to really recover from this, but I was able to go to church last night & LOVED it! Each day I'm a bit stronger from the surgery & so thankful everyone around me has done all the lifting, carrying & doing on my behalf.
2) Yes, I was done with chemo the middle of June, but it wasn't done with me! Doctor has told me it will be months before I've got my old self back regarding energy & stamina. I still take the pain meds for swollen joints which manages the achiness, so, another thanks! The first half of the day is proving to be more normal now, but by the the early evening, I'm pretty much- done. The stamina just isn't there, yet. My body has been through so much this year that I must stay patient about it. I wouldn't be honest if I said this was easy, but it's getting better & I see progress, so it's encouraging!
3) I lost the hair on my head months & months ago (within 2 weeks of the first chemo back in March) but didn't lose my eyebrows & eyelashes until after round #8 in June. (Just a funny tidbit of info about this whole thing.) My hair has started growing back & is a bit fuzzy at the moment. I haven't minded being bald, really, accept that it's awfully cold!
4) The CT Marking was last Friday. (Yes, I got 3 tattoos! LOL!) This is an essential step in getting radiation right as it shows the exact spots to grid my body for the treatments. I go back in next week for a "dry run", then will begin treatments Monday, August 3rd. The Radiation Oncologist has assigned me 25 treatments (each weekday over 5 weeks). Please pray the fatigue & "sunburn" are minimal for me. Fair skin like mine doesn't fair well, at times, with radiation. But, we all know when God is in the mix, all bets are off!
Thank you a million times over for your prayers for my family & me.
Blessings!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Time & State of Surgery
Time is a funny thing. Time drags for my daughter & her husband as he's deployed & they're away from one another. For one of my nieces who's in graduate school & planning a wedding, there's not enough of it! When spending time with someone we love, time becomes a friend. But, waiting for a test result or healing, time can be a foe. When doing something we love, time moves at a rapid speed, but just goes on & on when we're confronted with something unpleasant. Time rules our lives in many ways. We have to be at work or school at a certain time. We must get this or that done by a certain deadline. We're obligated to watch the clock & perform duties accordingly.
God is not ruled nor even acknowledges time like we do. He doesn't have to wach the clock to know when to eat or work or play. God is beyond time. God Is. It's amazing to think that one day we'll not be confined to time.
Because we do count & watch calendars for now, I can say there's been 9 days since the mastectomy & lymph node surgery. Physical healing is coming along nicely & we're so thankful. There's a follow-up appointment with the Surgeon in the morning & the drain will be removed if it's time. She'll check that & stitches (& admire her work like only surgeons can!) She's watching me closely so I can get to radiation asap (approximately 2 more weeks if all goes well). I have felt really well & then, yesterday had to lay in bed all day with no energy. All the doctors have said this is normal- to feel good one day & take a down-turn the next. The requirement is pacing myself & resting when my body tells me to. (I'm not good at either one, so prayers are appreciated.)
Mike & I met with the Oncologist last Friday & learned the pathology report more in depth. We're so incredibly thankful there's no cancer in the "bulk" of tissue! Of all news, other than miraculous healing, this is the best possible! We believe God used the medical community to work His plan & are praising Him!
Oncology will continue to monitor & scan my liver & bones for the next 2 years. Because this is such an aggressive cancer & some cells are still "floating" in my bloodstream, IF it grows again, it will do so in the next 2 years. (A slower growing cancer may take 5 to 10 years to re-occur.) So, the 1st follow-up scan is scheduled for November.
Mike & I have determined to live with the "cancer-free" mindset. This does not mean we're sticking our heads in the sand & not facing reality. It means we will not live in fear & it will not control us. We'll go to follow-up scans & tests but will not live today playing "what if?" games about the future. God has clearly said "YES!" to us today & we're good with that. Our "future" is Him, not the calendar. We have this day from Him- as a gift. He's not watching the clock- He's watching us! He's not counting the days, He's speaking them into being! He's not confined by time, but loves always!
Blessings!
God is not ruled nor even acknowledges time like we do. He doesn't have to wach the clock to know when to eat or work or play. God is beyond time. God Is. It's amazing to think that one day we'll not be confined to time.
Because we do count & watch calendars for now, I can say there's been 9 days since the mastectomy & lymph node surgery. Physical healing is coming along nicely & we're so thankful. There's a follow-up appointment with the Surgeon in the morning & the drain will be removed if it's time. She'll check that & stitches (& admire her work like only surgeons can!) She's watching me closely so I can get to radiation asap (approximately 2 more weeks if all goes well). I have felt really well & then, yesterday had to lay in bed all day with no energy. All the doctors have said this is normal- to feel good one day & take a down-turn the next. The requirement is pacing myself & resting when my body tells me to. (I'm not good at either one, so prayers are appreciated.)
Mike & I met with the Oncologist last Friday & learned the pathology report more in depth. We're so incredibly thankful there's no cancer in the "bulk" of tissue! Of all news, other than miraculous healing, this is the best possible! We believe God used the medical community to work His plan & are praising Him!
Oncology will continue to monitor & scan my liver & bones for the next 2 years. Because this is such an aggressive cancer & some cells are still "floating" in my bloodstream, IF it grows again, it will do so in the next 2 years. (A slower growing cancer may take 5 to 10 years to re-occur.) So, the 1st follow-up scan is scheduled for November.
Mike & I have determined to live with the "cancer-free" mindset. This does not mean we're sticking our heads in the sand & not facing reality. It means we will not live in fear & it will not control us. We'll go to follow-up scans & tests but will not live today playing "what if?" games about the future. God has clearly said "YES!" to us today & we're good with that. Our "future" is Him, not the calendar. We have this day from Him- as a gift. He's not watching the clock- He's watching us! He's not counting the days, He's speaking them into being! He's not confined by time, but loves always!
Blessings!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
What Now?
Thank you for rejoicing & praising God with us! Make no mistake- He is the great physician! We are forever thankful the pathology report from surgery shows no remaining cancerous tissue!
So, what now? Medically, we stay right on course. Chemo was first, then 1st mastectomy, radiation, 2nd mastectomy & reconstruction phase 1, & finally, surgery to finish up reconstruction. Medically, we follow a plan upon "presentation." In other words, the very first tests five months ago showed doctors what kind of breast cancer I had, the aggressiveness of this type & the stage. The plan of action was decided upon at that time & doesn't change, even with the great report we just received. The pathology report showing all the tissue to be negative shows us the chemo & surgery have worked, & that is praise-worthy news, so we continue right on with the fight.
6 weeks of Radiation to "sterilize" the area & kill residual cancer cells will begin as soon as I've recovered enough from this mastectomy. (3 to 6 weeks) Then, I'll have to "cool down" from radiation before I'll be able to have the 2nd mastectomy & reconstruction surgeries.
My body demands rest to recover properly from this mastectomy, so I'm doing that. I also do all the exercises the doctors have given me to do. This regiment will help the healing process & get me to radiation more quickly, so I do my very best to stay on task. Mike, Randi & Taylor help me temendously in encouraging both the rest & exercise. The long journey continues & God has shown us we're on the right track. We love Him & thank Him for His constant presence!
Blessings!
So, what now? Medically, we stay right on course. Chemo was first, then 1st mastectomy, radiation, 2nd mastectomy & reconstruction phase 1, & finally, surgery to finish up reconstruction. Medically, we follow a plan upon "presentation." In other words, the very first tests five months ago showed doctors what kind of breast cancer I had, the aggressiveness of this type & the stage. The plan of action was decided upon at that time & doesn't change, even with the great report we just received. The pathology report showing all the tissue to be negative shows us the chemo & surgery have worked, & that is praise-worthy news, so we continue right on with the fight.
6 weeks of Radiation to "sterilize" the area & kill residual cancer cells will begin as soon as I've recovered enough from this mastectomy. (3 to 6 weeks) Then, I'll have to "cool down" from radiation before I'll be able to have the 2nd mastectomy & reconstruction surgeries.
My body demands rest to recover properly from this mastectomy, so I'm doing that. I also do all the exercises the doctors have given me to do. This regiment will help the healing process & get me to radiation more quickly, so I do my very best to stay on task. Mike, Randi & Taylor help me temendously in encouraging both the rest & exercise. The long journey continues & God has shown us we're on the right track. We love Him & thank Him for His constant presence!
Blessings!
Monday, July 13, 2009
Praise! Praise! Praise!
The doctor just called us with the pathology results & it's ALL negative! This is the best news ever & we're giving God all the praise for saying "YES!" to us! We've all asked him for this answer & the cancer is gone! Our whole family is rejoicing right now! God is good- all the time! God is gracious- every day! God is powerful- throughout every situation!
Thank-you for praying for us! Thank you for standing by us! Thank you for being strong advocates for us!
Praises to Him! Blessings to you!
Thank-you for praying for us! Thank you for standing by us! Thank you for being strong advocates for us!
Praises to Him! Blessings to you!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Very Good Day!
I've just had a very, very good day! Amazing, but there is very little pain so far, so I'm thankful! This is a huge answer to prayer as I've not been at my strongest point since chemo, but surgery was so important, it had to be done. The surgeon told me that after chemo I won't think anything else is a big deal. That, if I can do that, I can do anything! She's encouraging besides being a wonderful surgeon!
Taylor got here safely from Virginia (22 hour drive) & that's another huge answer to prayers! Having her here is the greatest! She tag-teams with Mike & Randi in my care & there aren't words to say how glad I am to have them.
Eric completely helps Randi with whatever she needs to help me. He takes care of the boys, cleans the house, etc & that allows her to help me in whatever ways needed! We always keep snacks for Eric, so he's well-cared for, too! :)
Tyrel texted me before surgery & called from the other side of the world! Hearing his voice was priceless! See why I say I'm so blessed?
Then, add my parents, our 6 siblings, their spouses (who are just as close as our own siblings), 13 nieces & nephews with 6 greats', aunts, uncles & friends, friends, friends! All of you are our blessings!
Please continue praying for all of us. We lean hard on you & the Lord! Randi continues to post updates about us on her blog even when I can't, so please scroll down on the right-hand side of my blog to Randi's name & click on it for updates- even if I haven't posted anything. She's helped me so much in this way to keep loved ones informed.
Thank you, Lord for every single gift from you, including this day!
Blessings!
Taylor got here safely from Virginia (22 hour drive) & that's another huge answer to prayers! Having her here is the greatest! She tag-teams with Mike & Randi in my care & there aren't words to say how glad I am to have them.
Eric completely helps Randi with whatever she needs to help me. He takes care of the boys, cleans the house, etc & that allows her to help me in whatever ways needed! We always keep snacks for Eric, so he's well-cared for, too! :)
Tyrel texted me before surgery & called from the other side of the world! Hearing his voice was priceless! See why I say I'm so blessed?
Then, add my parents, our 6 siblings, their spouses (who are just as close as our own siblings), 13 nieces & nephews with 6 greats', aunts, uncles & friends, friends, friends! All of you are our blessings!
Please continue praying for all of us. We lean hard on you & the Lord! Randi continues to post updates about us on her blog even when I can't, so please scroll down on the right-hand side of my blog to Randi's name & click on it for updates- even if I haven't posted anything. She's helped me so much in this way to keep loved ones informed.
Thank you, Lord for every single gift from you, including this day!
Blessings!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Post-Surgery Update!
Got home a couple of hours ago from yesterday's surgery. Doing well & so thankful for all the prayers for us! Again, God saw us through the day, and not just barely. He saw us through in a mighty way! He's just so good that way & we thank Him over & over for all of you. It's keeping us humbled to have the loving responses we continue to receive from you. From the hospital, to texts, to cards, to Facebook & blog! Wow! One of the nurses overheard us talking in pre-op about our anniversary being the same day as surgery. Later, 2 of the administrators of the hospital along with 10 to 15 nurses & techs showed up at our room with a cake & Happy Anniversary wishes! Total strangers bringing blessings our way. How great is that?
Only a handful of days ago, I don't think I was emotionally ready for a mastectomy. (Just being honest.) I believe I was spiritually ready because God has not left us for a minute. We've not felt alone, but instead, a strong sense of Him every day. I was also mentally ready. I wanted this surgery- intellectually. It was the right thing to do medically & we believe God is working through the medical venue for healing. He can heal anytime He wants with just a word, but right now, He's leading powerfully down this road. I wouldn't have cancelled the surgery at all mentally, but emotionally was another thing- since I'm rather "attached" to my body parts! LOL!
You have prayed on my behalf & God & I have talked about this at length! He had to get me ready because I was just not strong enough to do it myself. The day before surgery- Thursday- there was a peace that came over me I can't describe in words. This peace was not from "pulling myself up by my own bootstraps." It was from God. It's His promise of giving "peace that passes understanding." I'm saying He stayed true to His promise to me! He GAVE me this peace & there was no emotional apprehension Thursday or Friday. I was completely able & ready to face the day. I'm not sharing this to brag about myself- because I take no credit for it. I tell you because God did this for me. I'm forever grateful for the complete follow-through of His promises. He does what He says He'll do.
I'm thankful to be back home & doing well. I guess I'm the most blessed woman in the world!
Blessings!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Happy 33rd Anniversay, Sweetheart!
Happy Anniversary Sweetheart!
These 33 years have gone by quickly & I'd marry you again in a heartbeat! I love you with all my heart!
Thank you, on this day of surgery, for standing by my side & for loving me so deeply.
Love,
~Me
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Update before Surgery
We have been covered up with love, support & prayers! There will never be a way we can adequately thank you or tell you exactly how much you mean to us. Please know we are so very grateful!
Through the last 4 months, we've learned a lot more about breast cancer than we thought we ever would. Something we'll always remember is that eventhough there are similarities with this disease, every cancer is different & every woman & situation is different. So, the next few months - according to "Plan A"- will look like this:
1) Friday, the 10th- First mastectomy & lymph nodes surgery. This will take several weeks of healing.
2) As soon as I'm able, Radiation will be our next step. (5 to 6 weeks, everyday Monday thru Friday.)
3) Weeks & months of healing will be needed after Radiation, then, another mastectomy surgery & Phase 1 of reconstruction will be next.
4) Phase 1 will take several weeks to a few months to complete. Once complete, the last step will be another surgery to complete Phase 2 of reconstruction.
I hope this helps in explaining the weeks & months ahead, as so many of you have asked & care so much about us! I've mentioned before that this journey is a marathon & not a sprint. I wasn't just kidding! LOL!
Please pray for us whatever the Lord puts on your heart about us. The Lord knows us & knows what we need the most. He's holding our family close & never, ever will we walk through one day of this without Him. Below I've listed some things that are on my heart to add to your prayers.
1) Thank Him for his faithfulness to us. Thank Him for seeing us through, so far. Thank Him for the power he has to bring healing & the utter love he displays every single day.
2) Ask Him to give me physical healing.
3) Pray Taylor's safe arrival on her long drive to help care for me & for Tyrel as he's away. (God knows about the details of this, so pray God's protection!)
4) Pray for Randi, Eric, Cason & Braden as they minister to me daily.
5) Pray for Mike. He's so faithful to be a wonderful husband to me through thick & thin!
6) Pray for extended family as they all are loving & supporting me completely!
7) Pray we all see this through God's eyes. That we pay attention to His power & His plan.
Blessings to all!
Through the last 4 months, we've learned a lot more about breast cancer than we thought we ever would. Something we'll always remember is that eventhough there are similarities with this disease, every cancer is different & every woman & situation is different. So, the next few months - according to "Plan A"- will look like this:
1) Friday, the 10th- First mastectomy & lymph nodes surgery. This will take several weeks of healing.
2) As soon as I'm able, Radiation will be our next step. (5 to 6 weeks, everyday Monday thru Friday.)
3) Weeks & months of healing will be needed after Radiation, then, another mastectomy surgery & Phase 1 of reconstruction will be next.
4) Phase 1 will take several weeks to a few months to complete. Once complete, the last step will be another surgery to complete Phase 2 of reconstruction.
I hope this helps in explaining the weeks & months ahead, as so many of you have asked & care so much about us! I've mentioned before that this journey is a marathon & not a sprint. I wasn't just kidding! LOL!
Please pray for us whatever the Lord puts on your heart about us. The Lord knows us & knows what we need the most. He's holding our family close & never, ever will we walk through one day of this without Him. Below I've listed some things that are on my heart to add to your prayers.
1) Thank Him for his faithfulness to us. Thank Him for seeing us through, so far. Thank Him for the power he has to bring healing & the utter love he displays every single day.
2) Ask Him to give me physical healing.
3) Pray Taylor's safe arrival on her long drive to help care for me & for Tyrel as he's away. (God knows about the details of this, so pray God's protection!)
4) Pray for Randi, Eric, Cason & Braden as they minister to me daily.
5) Pray for Mike. He's so faithful to be a wonderful husband to me through thick & thin!
6) Pray for extended family as they all are loving & supporting me completely!
7) Pray we all see this through God's eyes. That we pay attention to His power & His plan.
Blessings to all!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Little Drew Carey?
Don't be fooled! This is not a very small Drew Carey, but Cason Michael making Sweets laugh my heart out!
Cason, you're the greatest!
~Sweets
Saturday, July 4, 2009
4th of July!
Happy 4th of July! This is a great country! Certainly not perfect, but the USA is beloved & I'm a big fan! The price for all the freedoms enjoyed has been a costly one & it would be crazy for me to say I grasp the sacrifices troops & families have made over the years to help make this country a free one. The bravery it's taken to protect the weaker ones of us here & around the world is amazing. Our troops & their families personally sacrifice so that many others can live safely & peaceably.
Our family is directly effected & I wouldn't be truthful if I told you this was not a hard thing! It is. But, we are so proud of the man our son-in-law is. He is a Marine & one of the brave ones. His wife is just as brave. (T&T, you are heroes to me!)
So, today I send my love & thanks for all those who work hard for this country & it's ideals. I will enjoy another free day- in great part -because of you!
Blessings & protection on this beautiful 4th of July!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
"When It's All Been Said & Done"
The 4 deaths this last week of some famous but diverse people got me to thinking about life & it's twists & turns. Ed McMann (TV show host), Farrah Fawcett (actress), Michael Jackson ("King of Pop") & Billy Mays (Pitchman) all lived lives that were a mixture of blessings & tragedy. There was fame & failure, health & illness, fortune & debt, relationships & estrangments, joy & sorrow. The first 3 had fame & fortune for many, many years on TV & virtually every radio station in the country. I vividly remember "The Jackson Five" beginning from my late elementary school days. The 4th one had fame come later, but they seemed to have all the world offers. It's an intriging thing how people choose to "spend" their lives. In the end they're just people who need the same Savior I need. I could easily give my views of other's lives, but a closer look at my own might do me more good.
No matter how much or how little money or fame I acquire, life is this mixture of ups & downs. I can surround myself with the finer things in life but that will only shield me for a time from some hard things. Some of the hard things in life happen because this is a fallen world- apart from God. And, sometimes joy or sorrow comes as a direct result of my own choices or the choices of the ones I've surrounded myself with. I've got one shot at living. There are a myriad of choices in loving, using talents & gifts & choosing who & what I want to be. There's so much joy, love & meaning through life to choose. There's also tragedy, sadness & heartache if I want to choose that course.
Yes, before I'm too hard on someone else, looking in the mirror is the thing to do. Before I get side-tracked on someone else's choices, I have to look at the way I "spend" my own days. When it's all been said & done, we all need Jesus. All of us.
"When it's all been said & done, there's only one thing that matters.
Did I do my best to live for truth, did I live my life for You?"
Blessings!
No matter how much or how little money or fame I acquire, life is this mixture of ups & downs. I can surround myself with the finer things in life but that will only shield me for a time from some hard things. Some of the hard things in life happen because this is a fallen world- apart from God. And, sometimes joy or sorrow comes as a direct result of my own choices or the choices of the ones I've surrounded myself with. I've got one shot at living. There are a myriad of choices in loving, using talents & gifts & choosing who & what I want to be. There's so much joy, love & meaning through life to choose. There's also tragedy, sadness & heartache if I want to choose that course.
Yes, before I'm too hard on someone else, looking in the mirror is the thing to do. Before I get side-tracked on someone else's choices, I have to look at the way I "spend" my own days. When it's all been said & done, we all need Jesus. All of us.
"When it's all been said & done, there's only one thing that matters.
Did I do my best to live for truth, did I live my life for You?"
Blessings!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Next Step
After hours of doctors, tests & prayers, an initial surgery (mastectomy) is our next step. The latest MRI revealed encouraging news in that chemo has really been working & gotten rid of nearly all the tumors. This is a huge praise! There's still some remaining, so surgery is the next step, with radiation to immediately follow. Then, there'll be a couple more surgeries in the months to come after I'm a bit stronger. Our spirits are still strong & encouraged. We've known all along surgery & radiation were needed, just not the order of events. Now we're on course & feel a lot of peace about it.
Thank you a million times over for praying for my family & me! God continues to show His faithfulness by taking us one step at a time. I love- with all my heart- the earthly family God has given me & by God's grace we will get through these hard times. Our spiritual family is holding us up in love, prayer & support & we couldn't be more thankful for you! You're an amazing group of people!
Blessings!
Thank you a million times over for praying for my family & me! God continues to show His faithfulness by taking us one step at a time. I love- with all my heart- the earthly family God has given me & by God's grace we will get through these hard times. Our spiritual family is holding us up in love, prayer & support & we couldn't be more thankful for you! You're an amazing group of people!
Blessings!
Monday, June 29, 2009
"It's Not About Me, It's Not about Now"
Just have not had the energy in the last few days to write much but love & appreciate all your prayers on my behalf. This is an amazingly difficult journey & one I've never fully appreciated. Not that I didn't care, but I certainly didn't understand the full extent of what others may have been going through. But, God completely sustains in a powerful way even when a particular day may take all I've humanly got!
One of the pitfalls of a long & life threatening illness is the tendency to make it all about me. The doctors I need to see, medicines I must take, tests I have to endure, appointments I must keep, pain I have to face & on & on. So much of the focus is demanded of me in order to do the things that have to be done to get well, or "fixed" & I have to continually balance those demands with the love & care of others & keep God's perspective on my life. This is NOT as easy as it sounds... keeping perspective is difficult at times & it's only by His grace I can do it at all!
Words from a serman Max Lucado preached years ago constantly ring in my head, "It's not about me & it's not about now. It's about Him & about forever." Max is an incredible author & preacher & these words have reminded me over & over that God is the center of my life, not me. I have a soul that's going to live forever, so these few years on earth are just that... few. It's all important that the life I live now prepares me for the life I'm to live forever with the Lord. My life's journey isn't about me but about glory given to God through me. Being so short-sighted to say my life is limited to these few decades steals glory from the One who gave me the gift of life in the first place. He wants glory for now & eternity so anything & everything here points me to Him & forever!
Another MRI is set for noon today & just like I have in previous tests, I will repeat these words over & over as I lay perfectly still in that imaging machine. "It's not about me & not about now. It's not about me & not about now." This helps focus my perspective on events & demands of the day. My life - all of it- is about Him & eternity!
It's interesting what the Lord brings to mind & heart to comfort at times like the MRI imaging test, but the song I have & will sing again is,
"Lord, You are more precious than silver.
Lord, You are more costly than gold.
Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds,
And, nothing I desire compares to You."
Please pray for my relentless focus on the Lord. Pray I will not get side-tracked with all the "me" stuff. Pray God will make our way clear as tests results are received & decisions are made. All glory goes to Him for it would be too grevious to waste life's journey to keep it "all about me!"
Blessings!
One of the pitfalls of a long & life threatening illness is the tendency to make it all about me. The doctors I need to see, medicines I must take, tests I have to endure, appointments I must keep, pain I have to face & on & on. So much of the focus is demanded of me in order to do the things that have to be done to get well, or "fixed" & I have to continually balance those demands with the love & care of others & keep God's perspective on my life. This is NOT as easy as it sounds... keeping perspective is difficult at times & it's only by His grace I can do it at all!
Words from a serman Max Lucado preached years ago constantly ring in my head, "It's not about me & it's not about now. It's about Him & about forever." Max is an incredible author & preacher & these words have reminded me over & over that God is the center of my life, not me. I have a soul that's going to live forever, so these few years on earth are just that... few. It's all important that the life I live now prepares me for the life I'm to live forever with the Lord. My life's journey isn't about me but about glory given to God through me. Being so short-sighted to say my life is limited to these few decades steals glory from the One who gave me the gift of life in the first place. He wants glory for now & eternity so anything & everything here points me to Him & forever!
Another MRI is set for noon today & just like I have in previous tests, I will repeat these words over & over as I lay perfectly still in that imaging machine. "It's not about me & not about now. It's not about me & not about now." This helps focus my perspective on events & demands of the day. My life - all of it- is about Him & eternity!
It's interesting what the Lord brings to mind & heart to comfort at times like the MRI imaging test, but the song I have & will sing again is,
"Lord, You are more precious than silver.
Lord, You are more costly than gold.
Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds,
And, nothing I desire compares to You."
Please pray for my relentless focus on the Lord. Pray I will not get side-tracked with all the "me" stuff. Pray God will make our way clear as tests results are received & decisions are made. All glory goes to Him for it would be too grevious to waste life's journey to keep it "all about me!"
Blessings!
"It's Not About Me, It's Not about Now"
One of the pitfalls of a serious or life-threatening illness is to make it all about me. Doctors I have to see, medications I must take, tests I have to go through, pain I must endure & on & on. There's a tendency to focus so much on myself that the care & love for others may get pushed to the side. The physical demands are so great, it's easy to lose life perspective, at times.
Some words Max Lucado, an incredible author & preacher, spoke many years ago that ring in my mind are, "It's not about me & it's not about now. It's about Him & about forever." The center of my life isn't me, but Him. It would be ridiculous for me to think the sum of these 5 decades I've lived is the totality of my life. My life keeps going with Him forever. All that's in my life- including the hardest stuff- is for His glory. He's the One who gave me this gift of life & it belongs to Him, not me. Keeping this perspective is NOT always easy & it's only by His grace that I have it at all!
Today in the MRI machine, as I lie perfectly still, I will repeat these words over & over... "it's not about me & not about now. It's not about me & not about now." There's so much comfort in believing in the much bigger picture of Him & eternity!
I will also sing the song the Lord gave me during the last two MRI's that says,
"Lord, You are more precious than silver.
Lord, You are more costly than gold.
Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds,
And, nothing I desire compares to You!"
I constantly pray God give me His "forever" perspective, His view of things, His opinion of me, His "eternal- ness". For certainly, "it's not about me & not about now!" Praise to the One who deserves it!
Blessings!
Some words Max Lucado, an incredible author & preacher, spoke many years ago that ring in my mind are, "It's not about me & it's not about now. It's about Him & about forever." The center of my life isn't me, but Him. It would be ridiculous for me to think the sum of these 5 decades I've lived is the totality of my life. My life keeps going with Him forever. All that's in my life- including the hardest stuff- is for His glory. He's the One who gave me this gift of life & it belongs to Him, not me. Keeping this perspective is NOT always easy & it's only by His grace that I have it at all!
Today in the MRI machine, as I lie perfectly still, I will repeat these words over & over... "it's not about me & not about now. It's not about me & not about now." There's so much comfort in believing in the much bigger picture of Him & eternity!
I will also sing the song the Lord gave me during the last two MRI's that says,
"Lord, You are more precious than silver.
Lord, You are more costly than gold.
Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds,
And, nothing I desire compares to You!"
I constantly pray God give me His "forever" perspective, His view of things, His opinion of me, His "eternal- ness". For certainly, "it's not about me & not about now!" Praise to the One who deserves it!
Blessings!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Quick Update After #8!
This has proven to be a challenging week, which took me a bit by surprise, I admit. After this last chemo, I guess I thought it would be easier since my body was so used to the drugs, but I was mistaken. (I may have also gotten a stomach bug that contributed to the difficulty of the week, but don't know for sure, since chemo itself is tough.) Anyway, CHEMO IS DONE! YEA!! Thank you all for continued prayers, love & support.
Radiation & surgery are next on the long agenda but the order of these is undecided until another MRI is done. One is scheduled for Monday, the 29th & will set the next course of action. Depending of the results, either surgery or radiation will happen immediately. Then, the other will follow in the weeks & months to come. This is a long process... with no easy answers (doctors tell us it will be months & even up to a year before I feel like myself again). Medicine, as much as we wish was exact, is not. There are many variables, decisions & courses of action. Each building block depends on the result of the previous one. Chemistries, cancers & results differ & require additional tests, drugs & consults. Wish I could give you some firm news & results- but for now- patience all around!
God continues to amaze Mike & me! His goodness is just absolute toward us! We thank Him for bringing us this far & trust Him completely to take us the next steps of the way.
Blessings!
Radiation & surgery are next on the long agenda but the order of these is undecided until another MRI is done. One is scheduled for Monday, the 29th & will set the next course of action. Depending of the results, either surgery or radiation will happen immediately. Then, the other will follow in the weeks & months to come. This is a long process... with no easy answers (doctors tell us it will be months & even up to a year before I feel like myself again). Medicine, as much as we wish was exact, is not. There are many variables, decisions & courses of action. Each building block depends on the result of the previous one. Chemistries, cancers & results differ & require additional tests, drugs & consults. Wish I could give you some firm news & results- but for now- patience all around!
God continues to amaze Mike & me! His goodness is just absolute toward us! We thank Him for bringing us this far & trust Him completely to take us the next steps of the way.
Blessings!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Summer Spectacular- Esther!
Queen Esther- "For such a time as this."
Sometimes there's just not a way to explain or describe an event the way it deserves. This is one of those times, for me.
I cannot find the words to express just how thankful I am for the Richland Hills Church of Christ. For the amazing people that make up this church & the amount of love I have for them. I cannot express the blessing our Children's Minister, Patty, is to this church with her creativity & dedicated love for God's word! I cannot adequately describe the level of God-given talent & dedication the whole cast & crew has & I certainly cannot explain the selflessness of time & energy they donate just because they love the Lord, the whole community & all of us that much!
I cannot describe the excitement of the 2500+ crowd of children & parents each night to hear God's word of the courageous story of Esther! The 3 night event is on a professional level of talent & direction & really unbelievable!
I also cannot begin to say what it means to my heart & soul to have watched my 2 year old grandson, Cason, glued to every word, song, music & dance of the show! His first words to his mom the morning after the first show was, "Go see Esther!" She had to convince him to wait another 12 hours & they'd do just that! Once the DVD comes out, he'll watch it over & over & over just like he did "Jonah" last year!
I cannot tell you how determined I was to get to the show each evening. Even with my very limited stamina & energy right now, there was nothing- I mean nothing- that was keeping me from that show! I cannot tell you how timely & encouraging this was to me (eventhough that bad king actor- Mike- couldn't be in it this year because I've been keeping him very, very busy! LOL!) The show lifted my spirits & was good, good medicine for my soul!
Last, but not least, I cannot express enough thankfulness for God's word & it's relevance in our lives! The horrible life journey Esther had to endure before becoming Queen & then the courage she had to have to face the King to save her people- knowing she faced death in asking this favor of the King! This is the true account of God's faithfulness in bringing Esther to a place to save the Jews, to bring her to a place, "for such a time as this."
What I cannot even begin to say, God powerfully can & does.
Blessings!
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